Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph)

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue.

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts.

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer,

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration

This message was edited by GregoriusM on 07/26/02 20:00.01.

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation,

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help
I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?
While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation, my name is Bob, and I've had a lot of Grolsch before

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help

I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?

While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation, when I bought this doo-hickie, I was under the impression that it worked on turnips and all makes & models of Volvos. Now, after reading your disclaimer (with an electron microscope, I might add), I find

This message was edited by MrKlaatu on 07/26/02 23:51.04.

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help

I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?

While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation, when I bought this doo-hickie, I was under the impression that it worked on turnips and all makes & models of Volvos. Now, after reading your disclaimer (with an electron microscope, I might add), I find myself needing an other Grolsch

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help

I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?

While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation, when I bought this doo-hickie, I was under the impression that it worked on turnips and all makes & models of Volvos. Now, after reading your disclaimer (with an electron microscope, I might add), I find myself needing an other Grolsch, or 3 or 20...and wanting to camp on your sidewalk waiting, biding my time, smoking ciggarette after ciggarette, (not even worried about DNA evidence anymore), trying to decide

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help

I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?

While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation, when I bought this doo-hickie, I was under the impression that it worked on turnips and all makes & models of Volvos. Now, after reading your disclaimer (with an electron microscope, I might add), I find myself needing an other Grolsch, or 3 or 20...and wanting to camp on your sidewalk waiting, biding my time, smoking ciggarette after ciggarette, (not even worried about DNA evidence anymore), trying to decide if I feal like a nut or don't.

Dear Sir or Madame (as the case may be);
Re: Need Help

I recently purchased one of your doo-hickies, and I can't seem to get it to open it's Early Warning System. Since this the first of your products I have purchased, I thought I might try hooking it up to my turnip, but without the EWS I can't tell when the turnip has fully completed its cycle. As we both know, an incorrectly cycled turnip may well become dangerously unstable, causing my left nut to hurt . Why do condoms filled with helium rise, but persimmons in my shorts cause my Volvo to get less mileage?

While we're on the subject, I seriously doubt your promise of making everything much bigger in one cycle. In my neighborhood, we practice safe recycling, therefore I cycled and recycled the turnip until the sprockets fell off and went flying into my nuts (thus the previous paragraph). It should come as little surprise to you then that my concern at the failure of the doo-hickie EWS has led me to contact the governmental licensing agency, responsible for said device, regarding this issue. In addition, I respectfully request a fair and reasonable market- value compensation for the damage to my nuts. Cashews are not easily replaced around these parts! Unless you wish to hear from my lawyer, who can beat up your lawyer, I suggest a swift reply and remuneration for the cost of new condoms for my Volvo.

Now to further clarify the situation, when I bought this doo-hickie, I was under the impression that it worked on turnips and all makes & models of Volvos. Now, after reading your disclaimer (with an electron microscope, I might add), I find myself needing an other Grolsch, or 3 or 20...and wanting to camp on your sidewalk waiting, biding my time, smoking ciggarette after ciggarette, (not even worried about DNA evidence anymore), trying to decide if I feal like a nut or don't.

So, anyway, I was in the library, see, and this guy comes up to me, and he’s all like, “check this out,” and then he kills me and eats me and when I woke up the next morning it was like, "Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!" but it was somewhere on Long Island, I think, only more