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The following page was printed from RemoteCentral.com:
| Topic: | How to Shower This thread has 3 replies. Displaying all posts. |
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| Post 1 made on Tuesday March 14, 2006 at 09:03 |
Mr Griffiths It's my lucky day! |
Joined:
Posts: | February 2005
2,678 |
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How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make
the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Sorted
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| Post 2 made on Wednesday March 15, 2006 at 20:21 |
ceied Loyal Member |
Joined:
Posts: | February 2002
5,753 |
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nice......
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Ed will be known as the Tiger Woods of the integration business, followed closely with the renaming of his company to "Hotties A/V". The tag line will be "We like big racks and tight holes"... |
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| Post 3 made on Thursday March 16, 2006 at 02:21 |
DIRTE Active Member |
Joined:
Posts: | February 2005
500 |
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Thats hilarious!
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"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed with the things you didn't do than by the things you did… Explore. Dream. Discover" Mark Twain, 1879 |
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| Post 4 made on Thursday March 16, 2006 at 12:29 |
djy RC Moderator |
Joined:
Posts: | August 2001
34,761 |
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Shake my willy at the wife; she just laugh and get a pair of binoculars out.
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