10/10/25 - It’s been so long since we’ve last seen you!
10/24/22 - In searching for the perfect day, Timmy discovers something unexpected!
9/04/22 - That childhood favorite is back in a new Timmy video.
7/31/22 - It’s time for my second new Just Like Timmy video!
7/12/22 - Why not check out my new YouTube animation channel, Just Like Timmy!
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The following page was printed from RemoteCentral.com:
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Favorite Steven Wright sayings
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| Topic: | Favorite Steven Wright sayings This thread has 13 replies. Displaying all posts. |
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| Post 1 made on September 8, 2011 at 13:09 |
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Joined: Posts: | October 2002 1,744 |
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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. One time I went to a museum where all the work had been done by children. They had all the paintings on refrigerators. When I was crossing the border coming back from Canada, they said, "Do you have any firearms?"
I said, "What do you need?"
Last edited by goodnf on July 11, 2012 12:34. |
I'm just a sheep in wolf's clothing... |
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| Post 2 made on September 10, 2011 at 13:36 |
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Joined: Posts: RC XP: | September 2007 3,015 313⭐︎ |
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I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.
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TB A+ Partner
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. -Buddha |
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| Post 3 made on December 31, 2011 at 22:04 |
bradpuddephatt Long Time Member |
Joined: Posts: | December 2011 57 |
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I have a large seashell collection, which I keep scattered over the beaches of the earth. I'm a peripheral visionary. I see everything, just way off to the side. |
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| Post 4 made on January 2, 2012 at 19:34 |
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Joined: Posts: | August 2003 675 |
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I was told I couldnt have a dog in my 2nd floor apartment, so I bought a horse. Sometimes, I like to ride him into the kitchen and make a sandwich.
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| Post 5 made on January 10, 2012 at 12:34 |
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Joined: Posts: RC XP: | September 2007 3,015 313⭐︎ |
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I'm having an MRI next week. They're testing me for claustrophobia.
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TB A+ Partner
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. -Buddha |
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| Post 6 made on January 10, 2012 at 19:57 |
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Joined: Posts: RC XP: | September 2004 8,423 361⭐︎ |
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"I have a life-size map of the World".
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My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." |
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| Post 7 made on January 27, 2012 at 21:24 |
bradpuddephatt Long Time Member |
Joined: Posts: | December 2011 57 |
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I got kicked out of a casino after having a heated argument at the roullette table over what I considered an "odd" number.
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| Post 8 made on March 28, 2012 at 13:12 |
Andrea Whitlock Welcome Back |
Joined: Posts: | June 1999 1,209 |
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I don't match socks by colors. I go by thickness.
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| OP | Post 9 made on July 11, 2012 at 12:36 |
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Joined: Posts: | October 2002 1,744 |
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I bought some used paint. It came in the shape of a house.
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I'm just a sheep in wolf's clothing... |
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| Post 10 made on September 11, 2012 at 12:12 |
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Joined: Posts: RC XP: | September 2007 3,015 313⭐︎ |
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I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
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TB A+ Partner
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. -Buddha |
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| Post 11 made on January 29, 2013 at 00:42 |
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Joined: Posts: RC XP: | January 2004 2,836 87⭐︎ |
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if man evolved from apes,........why do we still have apes
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| Post 12 made on June 28, 2019 at 18:25 |
I accidentally put my car key in the lock of my apartment door. The whole building started up.
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| Post 13 made on August 11, 2019 at 14:49 |
FunHouse Texas Active Member |
Joined: Posts: RC XP: | June 2013 599 119⭐︎ |
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I'm not afraid of Heights - I'm afraid of widths..
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I AM responsible for typographical errors!
I have all the money I will ever need - unless i buy something.. |
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| Post 14 made on September 7, 2021 at 13:02 |
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Joined: Posts: | September 2001 8 |
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I was in a general store, and they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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