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The following page was printed from RemoteCentral.com:
| Topic: | Jokes, Witticisms, Anecdotes, etc. This thread has 512 replies. Displaying posts 211 through 225. |
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| Post 211 made on Monday August 5, 2002 at 21:32 |
MrKlaatu Loyal Member |
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Posts: | May 2001
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Well, that's better than that stupid "Stiff Neck" viagra joke going around!
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| Post 212 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 04:44 |
djy RC Moderator |
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34,761 |
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| Post 213 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 04:50 |
MrKlaatu Loyal Member |
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Posts: | May 2001
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Indubitably, my dear Watson . . . wait......am I Watson, or are you . . .I forget!
Chili on it's way, Friday (payday)!
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| Post 214 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 12:15 |
Cyber Vixen Founding Member |
Joined:
Posts: | July 2001
1,170 |
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TOP EIGHT MORONS:
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN "B" ??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?? A man (in L.A.) spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!! In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE GRAND FINALE Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water,
he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER.....................THIS IS TRUE!..........................
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.
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| Post 215 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 12:26 |
DanW Long Time Member |
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Posts: | July 2002
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Didn't someone already post that? I remember the discussion by boating aficionados about the validity of that last one.
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| Post 216 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 14:57 |
MrKlaatu Loyal Member |
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| Post 217 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 19:05 |
Cyber Vixen Founding Member |
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Okay okay fine!
See if I ever post again!
You all would be pretty damned sad if I never talked again. Taht's all I have to say!
Piffle!
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| OP | Post 218 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 19:38 |
GregoriusM RC Consultant |
Joined:
Posts: | December 1999
9,807 |
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FINE!
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When ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise. |
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| Post 219 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 20:05 |
MrKlaatu Loyal Member |
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7,749 |
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DOUBLE FINE! . . . SO THERE!!!!
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| Post 220 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 20:18 |
bob griffiths Founding Member |
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1,252 |
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a penalty imposed by the police...FINE
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| Post 221 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 21:20 |
Cyber Vixen Founding Member |
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1,170 |
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| Post 222 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 21:49 |
MrKlaatu Loyal Member |
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7,749 |
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Larry Fine: ..."One of us is nuts, and it's not you."
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| Post 223 made on Tuesday August 6, 2002 at 23:09 |
Larry Fine Loyal Member |
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5,002 |
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"Oh, a wise guy! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk! Hey, Moe!"
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| OP | Post 224 made on Wednesday August 7, 2002 at 02:47 |
GregoriusM RC Consultant |
Joined:
Posts: | December 1999
9,807 |
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On 08/06/02 21:20.16, Cyber Vixen said...
No comment! YOU POSTED AGAIN!!! he he he FINE!
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When ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise. |
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| Post 225 made on Wednesday August 7, 2002 at 02:49 |
Cyber Vixen Founding Member |
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Posts: | July 2001
1,170 |
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NO I DIDN'T!
And you'll be sorry because I'm not posting ever again!
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