yea...dont ever say this...

"what is that smell ???"

salesman at a LA area chain store, ten years ago, now mercifully out of business...A/V salesman. Got transferred to Personal Electronics...got loaned for the day to small appliances.

A lady in a fur spent a half hour of his time going through the specs for the toasters...I found him freaking out in the lunch room, saying "I can't believe I said it out loud, I can't believe I said it out loud...." After about forty minutes, he said, "listen, lady, it's just a f**king toaster!" "I can't believe I said it out loud..." he said as they escorted him out of the store to the unemployment line.

Yes please never mention that acronym.

I once worked for a boob (for a very short time) who said the following......

(after getting grilled by a customer about he complexity of modern electronics) "Well sir, some people just shouldn't own audio video system"

(after selling a system to one of his friends who subsequently found that it wasn't working correctly and requested a service call)

"Billy, you're my good friend and I love you to death, but the world doesn't revolve around you"

"We don't sell disposable stereos if that's whach yur lookin for".

A little in joke.

Do you remember "I can guarantee that I can give you the best price on this system, but I can't guarantee you that I can sell you what you're looking for for what you want to pay for it."?

oops..

Reminds me:
Lady walks into an appliance store for a toaster, after looking, she decides and takes one to the counter. Upon a brief inspection the salesman asks, " Would you like the screw for your toaster?" Lady replies, "No, But I'll bl*w you for the waffle iron!"

I was over at a local athlete's home, looking at doing a theater. We had been to his house 3-4 times for various projects that always went to the cheapest guy (not us). When he said "you guys are kind of high on your labor pricing" I replied that we had a lot in common with him. We expect to get paid what we feel we're worth. He was in the middle of a contract hold-out and his facial expression told me that he didn't appreciate the analogy.

We didn't get to do that job for him either!

He shoots, he scores!

Once I had a client who had to watch every move I made from about 4 ft away. With drill in hand, and client still HOVERING over my shoulder, I yelled "Ooops!! everybody run!!! I think I drilled through the natural gas feed to the kitchen!!!!!" Client ran, tripped over my tool bag, and fell on the floor. The customer failed to realize he had oil heat and an electric stove - no natural gas service................ (and no sense of humor) Oh well, at least he stopped hovering as I was packing up my tools.

And a side order of....

"I can set your Pronto up so that you can learn the buttons yourself"

A friend of mine in the repair business had this plan when people started abusing him over the phone:
"Sir, sir, if you become loud and obscene, my telephone automatically disconnects you" CLICK.

Then he calls them back immediately and apologizes for his phone and continues the conversation. Disconnects as many times as necessary until client gets civil.

My head still spins when I think of how I was telling a guy how to operate his system with all of the different remotes to "User your 3rd hand to press this button."

Was it a Freudian slip? I never said it before... It's not part of my vocabulary...

I forgot that he only had one hand... the other one was cleanly removed at the wrist... He laughed menacingly as he poked me with the fake... Italian too.. it was spooky.

In the end I was able to convince him to purchase a universal remote.