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Original thread:
Post 359 made on Friday February 25, 2005 at 17:56
Mr Griffiths
It's my lucky day!
Joined:
Posts:
February 2005
2,678
The TRUE ending to "the Empire Strikes Back":
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is
backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick
move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off
into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around,
but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your
father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be
true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You
know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7
years old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look
at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your
own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I
single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control
ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never
gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's
the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age,
I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years
old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly
a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't
know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges
down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!


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