This post is long but the reward, if you'll call it that, is a list of jokes including one by Mitch Hedberg, one by Aristotle, one by Churchill, and several by other notable whackballs.
On May 1, 2018 at 10:22, westom said...
I can appreciate that. Still working on three wonderfully new concepts: paronomasia, malapropism, and disambiguation. There is comedy in those words.
BTW, anybody need amp protection?
No, but thanks. In my house, all the amps are securely buttoned up in the wires. No amps out here cavorting with the carbon-based life forms!
For the youngsters in the crowd:
paronomasia: punning. The Greeks invented words for just about everything. While there's a Greek-based word for most bodily functions, I still haven't found one for farting.
malapropism: Also called a malaprop or Dogberryism, it is the use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, sometimes humorous utterance. An example is the statement by baseball player Yogi Berra, "Texas has a lot of electrical votes", rather than "electoral votes."
priapism: When it's stiff for more than four hours. Probably unrelated to the entire rest of this discussion.
disambiguation: citing different meanings of words so you can know which word you're looking for, or if you've totally missed the mark.
Paraprosdokia: Better than ALL the other things listed here! "Paraprosdokia is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is extremely popular among comedians and satirists."
Examples:
"Take my wife—please!" —Henny Youngman
"There but for the grace of God—goes God." —Winston Churchill
"If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker." —Homer Simpson
"If I am reading this graph correctly—I'd be very surprised." —Stephen Colbert
"On his feet he wore…blisters." —Aristotle
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." —Groucho Marx
"A modest man, who has much to be modest about." —Winston Churchill
"I like going to the park and watching the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks." —Emo Philips
"I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long." —Mitch Hedberg
"I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night." —Bill Hicks
"I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat." —Will Rogers
"On the other hand, you have different fingers." —Steven Wright
"He was at his best when the going was good." —Alistair Cooke
(Paraprosdokia is, in all likelihood, not in your spellcheck list. That's how good it is!)
