Since you are connected to the player through a controller you should be able to see feedback on all touch pads. If the control device was connected directly to the port then it would be the only one that could connect.
Power On should work. Be sure to wait a while. My BDP-43FD takes 45-60 to light up.
Something is strange with the RS-232. Did you connect directly with a laptop and try it with a serial program? Are you sure you have a crossover cable?
Sorry that's the best I can do without being there. Be happy to fly down if you pay - ha ha.