THE TIME I LIKE IS THE RUSH HOUR, COS I LIKE THE RUSH THE PUSHING OF THE PEOPLE - I LIKE IT ALL SO MUCH SUCH A MASS OF MOTION - DO NOT KNOW WHERE IT GOES I MOVE WITH THE MOVEMENT AND ... I HAVE THE TOUCH
I’M WAITING FOR IGNITION, I’M LOOKING FOR A SPARK ANY CHANCE COLLISION AND I LIGHT UP IN THE DARK THERE YOU STAND BEFORE ME, ALL THAT FUR AND ALL THAT HAIR OH, DO I DARE ... I HAVE THE TOUCH
WANTING CONTACT I’M WANTING CONTACT I’M WANTING CONTACT WITH YOU SHAKE THOSE HANDS, SHAKE THOSE HANDS GIVE ME THE THING I UNDERSTAND SHAKE THOSE HANDS, SHAKE THOSE HANDS SHAKE THOSE HANDS, SHAKE THOSE HANDS
ANY SOCIAL OCCASION, ITS HELLO, HOW DO YOU DO ALL THOSE INTRODUCTIONS, I NEVER MISS MY CUE SO BEFORE A QUESTION, SO BEFORE A DOUBT MY HAND MOVES OUT AND ... I HAVE THE TOUCH
WANTING CONTACT I’M WANTING CONTACT I’M WANTING CONTACT WITH YOU SHAKE THOSE HANDS, SHAKE THOSE HANDS GIVE ME THE THING I UNDERSTAND SHAKE THOSE HANDS, SHAKE THOSE HANDS
PULL MY CHIN, STROKE MY HAIR, SCRATCH MY NOSE, HUG MY KNEES TRY DRINK, FOOD, CIGARETTE, TENSION WILL NOT EASE I TAP MY FINGERS, FOLD MY ARMS, BREATHE IN DEEP, CROSS MY LEGS SHRUG MY SHOULDERS, STRETCH MY BACK - BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO PLEASE
I NEED CONTACT I NEED CONTACT NOTHING SEEMS TO PLEASE I NEED CONTACT
IF I SAID YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY WOULD YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME IF I SWORE YOU WERE AN ANGEL WOULD YOU TREAT ME LIKE THE DEVIL TONIGHT IF I WERE DYING ON THIRST WOULD YOUR FLOWING LOVE COME QUENCH ME IF I SAID YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY WOULD YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME
NOW WE COULD TALK ALL NIGHT ABOUT THE WEATHER TELL YOU `BOUT MY FRINDS OUT ON THE COAST I COULD ASK A LOT OF CRAZY QUESTIONS OR COULD ASK WHAT I REALLY WANT TO KNOW
NOW RAIN CAN FALL SOFT AGAINST THE WINDOW THE SUN CAN SHINE SO BRIGHT UP IN THE SKY BUT DADDY ALWAYS TOLD ME, „DON'T MAKE SMALL TALK“ HE SAID „COME ON OUT AND SAY WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND“
(If I Said You Have A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me - Bellamy Brothers)
PEOPLE ARE LOOKING BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IT'S THE TIME OF THE SEASON FOR THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU COME BACK TOMORROW, SHOW THE SCARS ON YOUR FACE IT'S A CLUE TO THE ANSWER WE ALL CHASE THREE, FIVE AND SEVEN LIFT THE HEAVIEST LOAD REACH THE TOP OF THE HEAVEN THAT'S FALLEN BELOW DEVIL MAY CARE BUT YOU WISH FOR THE BEST CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S AN ANSWER THAT LIES THERE COME ALL YOU SINNERS AND KEEP WITH THE TIME CAN WE SEE ALL THE FACES THAT HAVE FALLEN BEHIND DON'T MAKE THE REASON IT'S A SECRET FOR YOU THERE'S A CLUE TO THE ANSWER WE ALL KNOW THERE'S NO CLUE TO THE ANSWER WE ALL KNOW PEOPLE ARE LOOKING BUT THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IT'S THE TIME OF THE SEASON FOR THE PEOPLE LIKE YOU COME BACK TOMORROW, SHOW THE SCARS ON YOUR FACE IT'S A CLUE TO THE ANSWER WE ALL CHASE IT'S A CLUE TO THE ANSWER WE ALL CHASE
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GONE I SHUT MY EYES AND I FANTASIZE THAT YOU'RE HERE WITH ME WILL YOU EVER RETURN? I WANT BE SATISFIED 'TILL YOU'RE BY MY SIDE DON'T WAIT ANY LONGER... WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK? PLEASE HURRY, WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK? PLEASE HURRY...
COME BACK AND STAY FOR GOOD THIS TIME COME BACK AND STAY FOR GOOD THIS TIME
SPENDING ALL MY NIGHTS, ALL MY MONEY, GOIN' OUT ON THE TOWN DOIN' ANYTHING JUST TO GET YOU OFF OF MY MIND BUT WHEN THE MORNING COMES I'M RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED AGAIN AND TRYIN' TO FORGET YOU IS JUST A WASTE OF TIME
BABY COME BACK; ANY KIND OF FOOL COULD SEE THERE WAS SOMETHING IN EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BABY COME BACK; YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME I WAS WRONG, AND I JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
ALL DAY LONG, WEARING A MASK OF FALSE BRAVADO TRYIN' TO KEEP UP A SMILE THAT HIDES THE TEARS BUT AS THE SUN GOES DOWN, I GET THAT EMPTY FEELING AGAIN HOW I WISH TO GOD THAT YOU WERE HERE
BABY COME BACK; ANY KIND OF FOOL COULD SEE THERE WAS SOMETHING IN EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BABY COME BACK; YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME I WAS WRONG, AND I JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
NOW THAT I PUT IT ALL TOGETHER GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO MAKE YOU SEE HAVE YOU USED UP ALL THE LOVE IN YOUR HEART? NOTHING LEFT FOR ME? IS THERE NOTHING LEFT FOR ME?
BABY COME BACK; ANY KIND OF FOOL COULD SEE THERE WAS SOMETHING IN EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BABY COME BACK; (LISTEN, BABY) YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME I WAS WRONG, AND I JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU I WAS WRONG, AND I JUST CAN'T LIVE...
BABY COME BACK; ANY KIND OF FOOL COULD SEE THERE WAS SOMETHING IN EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BABY COME BACK; YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME I WAS WRONG, AND I JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO GO TO IT RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO COME RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO COME WHEN YOU WANT TO COME
RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO TO GO TO IT RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO COME RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO SUCK TO IT RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO COME COME-OH OH OH
BUT SHOOT IT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION MAKE MAKING IT YOUR INTENTION-OOH YEAH LIVE THOSE DREAMS SCHEME THOSE SCHEMES GOT TO HIT ME HIT ME HIT ME WITH THOSE LASER BEAMS
I'M COMING I'M COMING-YEAH
RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO GO TO IT RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO COME
RELAX DON'T DO IT WHEN YOU WANT TO SUCK TO IT RELAX DON'T DO IT (LOVE) WHEN YOU WANT TO COME WHEN YOU WANT TO COME WHEN YOU WANT TO COME COME-HUH
IN THE DESERTS OF SUDAN AND THE GARDENS OF JAPAN FROM MILAN TO YUCATAN EVERY WOMAN, EVERY MAN
HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK. HIT ME! HIT ME! JE T'ADORE, ICH LIEBE DICH, HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK. HIT ME SLOWLY, HIT ME QUICK. HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME!
IN THE WILDS OF BORNEO AND THE VINEYARDS OF BORDEAUX ESKIMO, ARAPAHO MOVE THEIR BODY TO AND FRO.
HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK. HIT ME! HIT ME! DAS IST GUT! C'EST FANTASTIQUE! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK. IT'S NICE TO BE A LUNATIC. HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME!
HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME!
IN THE DOCK OF TIGER BAY ON THE ROAD TO MANDALAY FROM BOMBAY TO SANTA FE OVER HILLS AND FAR AWAY
HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK. HIT ME! HIT ME! C'EST SI BON, MM? IST ES NICHT? HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME WITH YOUR RHYTHM STICK. TWO FAT PERSONS, CLICK, CLICK, CLICK. HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME!
HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! OW! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME (X5) HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME
(Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick - Ian Dury And The Blockheads)
SAID SHE COME FROM R-I-O, LIVED ON A MOUNTAIN. I MET HER IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE, SHE WAS SITTING IN THE FOUNTAIN. SHE TOOK OFF HER HAT AND SHE HAD LOVELY HAIR. SAID SHE SMOKED MARAJUANA AT THE COCOBANA THERE. SOUTH AMERICAN LADY, YOU'VE GOT THAT CRAZY BEAT. BRAZILIAN BEAUTY WITH THE FLASHING FEET. WE DANCED TO THE MUSIC AT THE MARDI-GRAS. THEN JUMPED ON THE CONCORDE, YOU'RE SO LAH-DI-DAH.
SI SI (X4)
TOOK HER TO A DISCO IN BATTERSEA. I ASKED HER TO DANCE AND THEN SHE DANCED WITH ME. AND THEN I TOOK A CHANCE. COME HOME WITH ME TODAY. I LIVE IN FRANCE. WE CAN GET THERE B-E-A.
JE SUIS UN ROCK STAR JE AVAIS UN RESIDENCE JE HABITER LA, A LA SOUTH OF FRANCE VOULEZ VOUS PARTIR WITH ME AND COME AND RESTER LA WITH ME IN FRANCE.
BUT B-E-A'S ON STRIKE, THERE'S NO PLANES FLYING. I CAN RENT A MOTORBIKE, AT LEAST I'M TRYING. WE COULD GO ON THE HOVERCRAFT ACCROSS THE WATER. THEY'LL THINK I'M YOUR DAD AND YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER.
JE SUIS UN ROCK STAR JE AVAIS UN RESIDENCE JE HABITER LA A LA SOUTH OF FRANCE VOULEZ VOUS PARTIR WITH ME AND COME AND RESTER LA WITH ME IN FRANCE.
I'M THROUGH WITH STANDIN' IN LINES TO CLUBS I'LL NEVER GET IN IT'S LIKE THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH AND I'M NEVER GONNA WIN THIS LIFE HASN'T TURNED OUT QUITE THE WAY I WANT IT TO BE (TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT)
I WANT A BRAND NEW HOUSE ON AN EPISODE OF CRIBS AND A BATHROOM I CAN PLAY BASEBALL IN AND A KING SIZE TUB BIG ENOUGH FOR TEN PLUS ME (YEAH, SO WHAT YOU NEED?)
I NEED A A CREDIT CARD THAT'S GOT NO LIMIT AND A BIG BLACK JET WITH A BEDROOM IN IT GONNA JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB AT THIRTY-SEVEN THOUSAND FEET (BEEN THERE, DONE THAT)
I WANT A NEW TOUR BUS FULL OF OLD GUITARS MY OWN STAR ON HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD SOMEWHERE BETWEEN CHER AND JAMES DEAN IS FINE FOR ME (SO HOW YOU GONNA DO IT?)
I'M GONNA TRADE THIS LIFE FOR FORTUNE AND FAME I'D EVEN CUT MY HAIR AND CHANGE MY NAME
'CAUSE WE ALL JUST WANNA BE BIG ROCKSTARS AND LIVE IN HILLTOP HOUSES, DRIVIN' FIFTEEN CARS THE GIRLS COME EASY AND THE DRUGS COME CHEAP WE'LL ALL STAY SKINNY 'CAUSE WE JUST WON'T EAT
AND WE'LL HANG OUT IN THE COOLEST BARS IN THE VIP WITH THE MOVIE STARS EVERY GOOD GOLD DIGGER'S GONNA WIND UP THERE EVERY PLAYBOY BUNNY WITH HER BLEACH BLOND HAIR
AND WELL, HEY, HEY, I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR HEY, HEY, I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR
I WANNA BE GREAT LIKE ELVIS WITHOUT THE TASSELS HIRE EIGHT BODY GUARDS THAT LOVE TO BEAT UP ASSHOLES SIGN A COUPLE AUTOGRAPHS SO I CAN EAT MY MEALS FOR FREE (I'LL HAVE THE QUESADILLA, HA, HA)
I'M GONNA DRESS MY ASS WITH THE LATEST FASHION GET A FRONT DOOR KEY TO THE PLAYBOY MANSION GONNA DATE A CENTERFOLD THAT LOVES TO BLOW MY MONEY FOR ME (SO HOW YOU GONNA DO IT?)
I'M GONNA TRADE THIS LIFE FOR FORTUNE AND FAME I'D EVEN CUT MY HAIR AND CHANGE MY NAME
'CAUSE WE ALL JUST WANNA BE BIG ROCKSTARS AND LIVE IN HILLTOP HOUSES, DRIVIN' FIFTEEN CARS THE GIRLS COME EASY AND THE DRUGS COME CHEAP WE'LL ALL STAY SKINNY 'CAUSE WE JUST WON'T EAT
AND WE'LL HANG OUT IN THE COOLEST BARS IN THE VIP WITH THE MOVIE STARS EVERY GOOD GOLD DIGGER'S GONNA WIND UP THERE EVERY PLAYBOY BUNNY WITH HER BLEACH BLOND HAIR
AND WE'LL HIDE OUT IN THE PRIVATE ROOMS WITH THE LATEST DICTIONARY OF TODAY'S WHO'S WHO THEY'LL GET YOU ANYTHING WITH THAT EVIL SMILE EVERYBODY'S GOT A DRUG DEALER ON SPEED DIAL
WELL, HEY, HEY, I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR
I'M GONNA SING THOSE SONGS THAT OFFEND THE CENSORS GONNA POP MY PILLS FROM A PEZ DISPENSER GET WASHED-UP SINGERS WRITIN' ALL MY SONGS LIPSYNK 'EM EVERY NIGHT SO I DON'T GET 'EM WRONG
WELL, WE ALL JUST WANNA BE BIG ROCKSTARS AND LIVE IN HILLTOP HOUSES, DRIVIN' FIFTEEN CARS THE GIRLS COME EASY AND THE DRUGS COME CHEAP WE'LL ALL STAY SKINNY 'CAUSE WE JUST WON'T EAT
AND WE'LL HANG OUT IN THE COOLEST BARS IN THE VIP WITH THE MOVIE STARS EVERY GOOD GOLD DIGGER'S GONNA WIND UP THERE EVERY PLAYBOY BUNNY WITH HER BLEACH BLOND HAIR
AND WE'LL HIDE OUT IN THE PRIVATE ROOMS WITH THE LATEST DICTIONARY OF TODAY'S WHO'S WHO THEY'LL GET YOU ANYTHING WITH THAT EVIL SMILE EVERYBODY'S GOT A DRUG DEALER ON SPEED DIAL
WELL, HEY, HEY, I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR HEY, HEY, I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR
ASKED A GIRL WHAT SHE WANTED TO BE SHE SAID BABY, CAN'T YOU SEE I WANNA BE FAMOUS, A STAR OF THE SCREEN BUT YOU CAN DO SOMETHING IN BETWEEN
BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR AND MAYBE I'LL LOVE YOU
I TOLD THAT GIRL THAT MY PROSPECTS WERE GOOD AND SHE SAID BABY, IT'S UNDERSTOOD WORKING FOR PEANUTS IS ALL VERY FINE BUT I CAN SHOW YOU A BETTER TIME
BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR AND MAYBE I'LL LOVE YOU
BEEP BEEP'M BEEP BEEP YEAH
BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR AND MAYBE I'LL LOVE YOU
I TOLD THAT GIRL I CAN START RIGHT AWAY WHEN SHE SAID LISTEN BABE I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY I GOT NO CAR AND IT'S BREAKING MY HEART BUT I'VE FOUND A DRIVER AND THAT'S A START
BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR YES I'M GONNA BE A STAR BABY YOU CAN DRIVE MY CAR AND MAYBE I'LL LOVE YOU
HEY NOW BABY, GET INTO MY BIG BLACK CAR. HEY NOW BABY, GET INTO MY BIG BLACK CAR. I WANT TO JUST SHOW YOU WHAT MY POLITICS ARE.
IM A POLITICAL MAN AND I PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH. IM A POLITICAL MAN AND I PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH. SO DONT DENY ME BABY, NOT WHILE YOURE IN MY REACH.
I SUPPORT THE LEFT, THOUGH IM LEANING, LEANING TO THE RIGHT. I SUPPORT THE LEFT, THOUGH IM LEANING TO THE RIGHT. BUT IM JUST NOT THERE WHEN ITS COMING TO A FIGHT.
HEY NOW BABY, GET INTO MY BIG BLACK CAR. HEY NOW BABY, GET INTO MY BIG BLACK CAR. I WANT TO JUST SHOW YOU WHAT MY POLITICS ARE.
DRIVING DOWN THOSE CITY STREETS, WAITING TO GET DOWN, WON?T YOU GET YOUR BIG MACHINE, SOMEWHERE IN THIS TOWN?
NOW IN THE PARKING LOT GARAGE, YOU?LL FIND THE PROPER PLACE, JUST FOLLOW ALL THE WRITTEN RULES, YOU?LL FIT INTO THE SPACE.
PULL UP TO MY BUMPER BABY, IN YOUR LONG BLACK LIMOSINE, PULL UP TO MY BUMPER BABY, AND DRIVE IT IN BETWEEN.
PULL UP, TO IT, DON?T DRIVE, THROUGH IT, BACK IT, UP TWICE, NOW THAT, FIT?S NICE.
OPERATE AROUND THE CLOCK, WHY DON?T YOU COME IN? I?VE GOT LOT?S OF SPACE FOR EVERYONE, WHY DON?T YOU MY FRIEND?
(LINES ARE SHORT), I?LL PICK YOU UP SO WON?T YOU PLEASE COME ON, SHINY SLEEK MACHINE BELIEVE, IT I?VE GOT TO BLOW YOUR HORN.
PULL UP TO MY BUMPER BABY, IN YOUR LONG BLACK LIMOSINE, PULL UP TO MY BUMPER BABY, AND DRIVE IT IN BETWEEN.
PULL UP TO IT, DON?T DRIVE THROUGH IT, BACK IT, UP TWICE, NOW THAT FITS NICE, RACE IT, STRAIGHTEN IT, LET ME LURICATE, PULL UP TO MY BUMPER BABY. (TO END)
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU BABY, I JUST WANT TO RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU BABY, I JUST WANT TO RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE YOU GOT SUCH A FINE CAR BABY BUT TOO MANY DRIVERS AT THE WHEEL
GOT ONE DRIVER IN THE MORNING, ONE DRIVER AT NIGHT AIN'T NO TWO DRIVERS THAT WOULD TREAT YOUR CAR RIGHT OH BABY, LET ME RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE I KNOW YOU GOT A FINE CAR BABY BUT TOO MANY DRIVERS AT THE WHEEL
WELL NOW WAIT A MINUTE BABY 'CAUSE IT FEELS SO GOOD TO ME WHEN YOU LET ME GET RIGHT DOWN IN YOUR LITTLE POCKET SEAT OH BABY, LET ME RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE I KNOW YOU GOT A FINE CAR BABY BUT TOO MANY DRIVERS AT THE WHEEL
[INSTRUMENTAL]
GOT ONE DRIVER IN THE MORNING, ONE DRIVER AT NIGHT AIN'T NO TWO DRIVERS BABY THAT WOULD TREAT YOUR LITTLE CAR RIGHT OH BABY, LET ME RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE I KNOW YOU GOT A FINE CAR BABY BUT YOU GOT TOO MANY DRIVERS AT THE WHEEL
[INSTRUMENTAL]
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU BABY, I JUST WANT TO RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU BABY, I JUST WANT TO RIDE IN YOUR AUTOMOBILE I KNOW YOU GOT A FINE CAR BABY BUT YOU GOT TOO MANY DRIVERS AT THE WHEEL
I took her on a date, things seemed so bright I knew i would not need my you porn tonight We go to her place and we fool around We throw all our clothes...to the ground We begin as she turns out the lights I start but feel something so extra tight I hear your cry, i see her frown I look at the condom, it is all brown Chorus: Last Night. oooo I stuck it in the wrong hole I'm so sorry, oooo from the bottom of my soul ....cause i stuck it in the wrong hole Try some preparation H it'll make you feel better In my defense those holes are so close together Oh baby baby don't feel defiled it's a common accident during doggy, doggy style It was so dark I couldn't see so good I had no idea where i put my wood I want to make things better want to make things alright If you want you can put on a strap on and give it back to me all night ( I'd rather if she didn't) Chorus: Bridge: I never ever want to make you feel hurting I guess thats why G-d made that hole not for inserting Tell me how you feel, baby please don't pause Now I know how they feel in that HBO show OZ Maybe take some advit, your pain it will fix From the way you are walking, you can compete in the special olympics If this was Alabama we would be on trial, Thats how my mom took my temperature as a child (with a thermometer) Verse: I've got a confession, and I think you mind I kinda liked when you put it in my behind I don't know baby, I'm no Sodomite Can't we just try it again tonight....? Alright! Chorus: Every night oooo I stick it in the wrong hole It's so much fun,oooo and we don't need no birth control When we stick it in the wrong hole. I stuck in your ass
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
THERE I WAS, A-DIGGING THIS HOLE A HOLE IN THE GROUND, SO BIG AND SORT OF ROUND IT WAS THERE WAS I, DIGGING IT DEEP IT WAS FLAT AT AT THE BOTTOM AND THE SIDES WERE STEEP WHEN ALONG, COMES THIS BLOKE IN A BOWLER WHICH HE LIFTED AND SCRATCHED HIS HEAD WELL WE LOOKED DOWN THE HOLE, POOR DEMENTED SOUL AND HE SAID
DO YOU MIND IF I MAKE A SUGGESTION?
DON'T DIG THERE, DIG IT ELSEWHERE YOUR DIGGING IT ROUND AND IT OUGHT TO BE SQUARE THE SHAPE OF IT'S WRONG, IT'S MUCH TOO LONG AND YOU CAN'T PUT HOLE WHERE A HOLE DON'T BELONG
I ASK, WHAT A LIBERTY EH NEARLY BASHED HIM RIGHT IN THE BOWLER
WELL THERE WAS I, STOOD IN ME HOLE SHOVELLING EARTH FOR ALL I WAS WORTH THERE WAS HIM, STANDING UP THERE SO GRAND AND OFFICIAL WITH HIS NOSE IN THE AIR SO I GAVE HIM A LOOK SORT OF SIDEWAYS AND I LEANED ON MY SHOVEL AND SIGHED
WELL I LIT ME A FAG AND HAVING TOOK A DRAG I REPLIED
I JUST COULDN'T BEAR, TO DIG IT ELSEWHERE I'M DIGGING IT ROUND COS I DON'T WANT IT SQUARE AND IF YOU DISAGREE IT DON'T BOTHER ME THAT'S THE PLACE WHERE THE HOLE'S GONNA BE
WELL THERE WE WERE, DISCUSSING THIS HOLE A HOLE IN THE GROUND SO BIG AND SORT OF ROUND WELL IT'S NOT THERE NOW, THE GROUND'S ALL FLAT AND BENEATH IT IS THE BLOKE IN THE BOWLER HAT
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