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Topic:
IF MEN WROTE ADVICE COLUMNS - HAHAHA
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Post 1 made on Saturday April 14, 2007 at 11:53
Stealth X
Senior Member
Joined:
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November 2005
1,177
Ever wondered what if men wrote advice Columns?

Here's how it might go!

Q: My husband wants a
threesome with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cant get enough of you! Knowing that there is only he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If your still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.



Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern of your husband. If you mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to him as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.



Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.



Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how happy and emotional he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.



Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.



Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal!
Post 2 made on Monday June 2, 2008 at 18:53
goodnf
Select Member
Joined:
Posts:
October 2002
1,744
Q: My wife keeps nagging me about spending too much time watching internet porn. How can I get her off my case?

A: Easy. Break out those nude pictures you took of her when you were first married and threaten to post them if she doesn't shut up.


Q: I'm going to Vegas for a convention next week, and I've heard you can actually find hookers there. If so, how can I find them?

A: You're kidding, right?


Q: I think Hillary is a really hot looking babe. Do you think I'd have a chance with her if she and Bill split up?

A: Assuming you're a lesbian, I suppose so!


Q: My husband threatened to post nude pictures of me when we were first married because I harp on him to stop looking at internet porn. What shoud I do?

A: Quick! Get those pictures and put them in an envelope and send them to me right away. (He! he! he!)


Q: Every time my wife's hot sister comes to visit, my dog goes over and humps her leg. What should I do?

A: Lock Fido up, buy yourself a dog costume and have at it!


Q: I'm a 24 year old single guy who recently moved, and after unpacking all of my stuff, I still can't find all of my Cher albums. Do you think the movers could have stolen them?

A: Good question. To find out, just go to the nearest gay bar and see if any of your movers are hanging out there.


Q: What is the meaning of life?

A: It exists to answer questions from idiots like you.
I'm just a sheep in wolf's clothing...

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