Mario,

This isn't a problem that will get fixed quickly, but you can fix it. First, I would suggest changing the combination on the safe, to something that both of you can remember, something based on a number that you will both remember. Then, you can make documents for location of accounts, etc., and stick those in the safe. Easy peasy fix!

Longer term, I suggest passing some tasks off to her, for a while, so she becomes aware of what is going on, and the mechanics of what you've been doing, so if you are injured or ill, she can provide backup. Make her pay the bills for 6 months to a year. Teach her how you've been doing it one month, and then let her do it for 6 months. This allows her to make sure she understands what is going on, so in an emergency she can pick it up without issue. Show her how to go to the websites for 401K's. Show her how you keep track of passwords. If you change this, be sure to show her how it's changed.

I'd also suggest getting her involved in monetary decisions like 401k, IRA's, etc. These are more about learning why, and she needs to be involved a bit for a while to know what is going on. She doesn't need to know every detail, but she needs to know where the money is, where she could get statements, and how to access the accounts. A list in the safe, combined with you sitting next to her while she goes to the sites, will get her to where she needs to be, if something bad happens. Just make having her learn a bit about what needs to be done, a priority.

I'll also suggest that you need to contact an attorney. Probate is a mess, and how sure are you, that there are zero issues with not having wills or trusts? Is she a partner in the business? Will the business past to her, without probate. Are kids involved? If they are, you likely need a trust. Even if you don't need those, Healthcare power of attorney or living wills provide a lot of protection and ensure who you want making the decisions, gets to make them. It is a mess when the spouse is saying one thing, and the parents of the spouse want something else. A legal document fixes this in a heartbeat. It may not be strictly necessary, but given the document, no doctor will question it for a second, but they will pause when the spouse and family are giving them different directions. If you haven't talked with an estate planning attorney, you really need to.

Anyway, that's my advice... hopefully worth more than what you paid for it! :-)

In 2005 I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was told my chances for survival during the 10 hour+ surgery was not favorable, and even so the chances of being blind were better. I had a month to prepare for the surgery and what I did was make a spreadsheet with all account numbers, contact information and balances, a tab of all expenses and liabilities with account# and contact, my life insurance details, a copy of the latest mortgage bill and several other pieces of documentation. Already had a will in place, and a two page letter on how to carry out instructions. it pays to have a decent filing system so your wife can make sense of it all. Needless to say I survived that (wish my pituitary gland did) and some vision loss, but all in all lucky as hell. Still, if you just file your bills, statements and expenses in an organized way I am sure your wife can do some footwork.

The need for all of these records being in one place is a withering commentary on how ridiculous it is to have to have, maintain, have available and keep totally secret passwords for everything.

My wife takes care of the household and I take care of the business. I told her if I died, don't try to run the business, sell it to one of my competitors. I have already told one of them she would be calling. I have been working on a fair valuation formula, just for such an event.

Sure, she and the kids would miss me, but life moves on. Truthfully, I'm worth more dead and I am alive. Money would help with the transition.

Truthfully, I'm worth more dead and I am alive.

I can guarantee you that you are the only one in your family who believes that.

Mario, this is a serious question. My fiancé' passed away 6 years ago. We had been living together for a few years but everything was not in both of our names. The state we lived in does not recognize common law marriage. She did not have a will. Everything we did was wrong. I didn't know many of her passwords, or how to get into accounts. A couple banks had money in them that I could not access because I was not on the account. I couldn't even close out a bank account that had both of our names on it.
The house we were living in, to buy it, I would of had to buy it like I was a stranger off the street, even though I was making payments.
Most ofvthe utilities were in her name, but I didn't have the account password.
Anyway, it was a major pain in the ass that I wasn't in the right state of mind to deal with.
My advice is to put all you info in a safe place for her in case something tragic happens.

Actually, it can be pretty easy to keep the web stuff sorted out, if you choose the correct tool.

I really like LastPass! https://lastpass.com/

I can tell you that they have been evaluated at a level of detail regarding security, that most companies would just refuse to take part in. I believe they are doing everything possible. They also support multi-factor authentication, which is an excellent approach for any product aimed squarely at security.

They provide support for all the major platforms, and the ability to store your passwords and site bookmarks on a USB flash drive, that you can put in your safe. I think that a product like LastPass is a must in this day and age. Using a non-integrated program to track passwords, or worse yet a physical notebook and pen, results in entries that are wrong, because you didn't have access to your tracking method when you had to change your password.

How does the thumb drive in the safe work better than the notebook? Does the thumb drive automatically update when it sees the internet? That would be cool!

If I died today, I'd never have met my wife.

And she would live happily ever after.... :-)

LOL

It would be the greatest act of love I could ever perform for her.

Whats really important Mario is, can I have your new tractor?

Sorry, but I don't get how y'all can be smart asses about this. I guess maybe because I have been through it, I think differently now.

We did our will together. We've sat down and gone through all of the accounts and have a document showing what is what. She knows about the life insurance, bank accounts. The main thing for us was the kids, if something happened to us, where does the money go, who is responsible for it and the kids.

If I were to go tomorrow she would be OK, she'd figure it out, then probably blow through my life insurance in no time. I tried to show her how to change the filter on the furnace, she said she didn't have to know, she would just hire someone. To be honest, she'd probably hire someone to change a lightbulb. I need to designate a trustee for her and the kids for my insurance.

You can do your will on line. I'd start there, then if nothing else, pay the bills together for a few months so she knows what goes where. Maybe have a friend enlightened to your world that can help out if the time comes. The way you drive a motorcycle, it isn't a bad idea. :)