Our international type, with neither reference to nor experience with actual dead things, but needing to get stuff of dubious customs difficulty, says call DHL.


Isn't it wonderful when the truth is the best way to get the subject to drop?

Please put NSFW next to links like that. Now I have to make a call to our IT manager.

CJ

sounds like my neighbors converted garage...add a full bar, and an obnoxious poorly installed AV system.

Haha, umm yes please! I clicked that as well thinking I was missing out on some new TV technology!

Very very sorry about that! Fixed in mine, but I can't unlink it in your quote. 

About 30 FBI agents.

Equals van in reverse and project closed.

I haven't personally seen FBI agents a a client's house, but one time I had the amily at Disney World and our office manager called and the first thing he said was, "you aren't going to believe this..."

A cohabitating gay couple, one of whom had an extensive collection of vintage medical equipment, most of it being gynecological in nature.

When I was a satellite monkey, I did an install at the home of a guy who was apparently a big wig in the neo nazi-white power movement. Outwardly, a tidy, well kept house (no trailer with abandoned cars in front).
Inside, a huge swastika hanging on the wall behind the couch and nazi paraphernalia all over the place.
While the guy and his wife were both profoundly nice to me, I can't imagine the reaction if one of the black guys that worked with me had drawn that job.

Another satellite monkey one. Only toilet in the entire house was smack dab in the middle of the master bedroom. On a raised, carpeted pedestal. The man of the house was a big, flannel and camo wearing construction worker looking dude.
His "roomate" was a suit and tie wearing, slim, feminine looking guy.

Over the years I have never walked in on sexytime between clients, seen nudity or homemade movies. Plenty of professional stuff though.

Have had more then a few clients get a little too friendly with me. No, not that way, just telling me in a decidedly TMI fashion about the details of their personal lives. Normally it is the lady of the house and normally it is the proverbial "trophy wives".

Strangest taxidermy item I've seen was a full Ostrich. It was for a client that owns a gun manufacturing company and several times a year takes safari trips. It was mounted on a fake rock that was positioned nicely on the zebra skin rug.

On the strange porn side, about 15 years ago when VCRs were still the norm, I was doing a service call for a client as to why the tv was not working and she said to just test everything. Turned on the vcr and it was "exercise porn". A woman jogging on a treadmill topless, no sex, just jogging.

Was installing a towel warmer in a master bath once when the Mrs. came in, dropped trou in the toilet room about 6' from me with the door open, and proceded to relieve herself. After about 2 seconds she looked up just as I turned around to see who had come in, screamed and slammed the door shut. I quickly walked out and moved to another project in the house. She saw me about 10 minutes later and was laughing about it but could hardly look me in the eye.

Strangest and worst thing I saw in a house was an older single guy that we had installed a small surround for that loved cats. He had probably 15 of them and the finished basement belonged to them. Went for a service call about a year after it was built and went to the basement to hook up some network equipment. He warned us it was a little dirty down there. Got down there and it looked as though it had not been cleaned for months. With 15 cats, no litter boxes, cat crap everywhere, cat hair everywhere, and the stench of ammonia causing us to dry heave we kindly told him we could not work there until it was cleaned. He said "yeah, thats what the plumber said too". Weird thing was the main floor was very clean.

We were working late at a house once. Programmer kept sending me to guest rooms to test things. I walk to "Bedroom 5" (a room that has always been empty up until that point) and the door is closed. I knock. Then i knock again very loudly. No answer. I walk right in. The guest bath was direct line of sight. Door is open and the clients mother is sitting on the toilet. I walked out closed the door and went to the control room and told the programmer "thats it, we are done working today and no more all night program testing".

How long before you got that visual out of your head? LMAO

Oh!  A good cat piss story! I was doing contract work for Circuit City, and I was training a new guy.  We were in Delta Ohio, it was in the dead of winter.  There was a fresh foot of snow on the ground, so we had to park a considerable distance from the home.  It was a nasty little duplex.  We were sitting in the car outside of the home, next thing you know we smell it.  At this point, we didn't know what "it" was, but it smelled like ammonia.  It was just a 1 receiver, and 18" dish.  I send the new guy into the house with the receiver, and I get to work hanging the dish outside.  

A couple of minutes later he comes out and says "It smells so bad in there"...Alright Mr. Whiner, just get the receiver connected, pop a hole through the wall and we'll be on our way.  

The entire install took us less than 30 minutes.  By the time he got out of there, his hands were as black as coal, and his entire body smelled like cat piss.  

We were leaving and the van started to stink so bad from him, that we had to roll down the windows.  We drive for about 5 minutes back to town, I stop at a stop light. 

He doesn't say a word, he just jumps out of the van while it's in the intersection, runs to the sidewalk and starts throwing up right there on the city street.  

He now livesin Philly, to this day him and I are the best of freinds because of that nasty friggin' house.  That was more than 10 years ago, every time we talk, at some point the conversation goes to that day.  

Seen quiet a few things over the years. Here are a few

Trophy room in an 90 year old's house with just about every type of animal you can imagine, including animals that I believe are illegal to hunt today. Animals includes a bear, zebra, lion, giraffe, elephant, and many more.

House with three trophy rooms that had mountains built like you would see at Cabala's with all kinds of animals on the mountains.

40 foot high rock climbing wall.

Bowling alley with two lanes.

Full size gymnasium.

Waterfall.

Shooting range in basement.

Tunnels between buildings.

Hidden rooms behind bookcases, gun cabinets, and pool stick holders.

Office with window that looks across opening to window into master bathroom shower.

Exterior lights that are electric ignited gas lights.

Pool that is half indoor half outdoor that you can swim under water from inside to outside.

That's simply awesome!

I delivered mattresses to people's homes while in college and experienced some pretty strange things. Perhaps that's why this one strikes a chord with me. We saw stuff like that all the time.