stripper pole in the master bedroom

and

400 disc dvd changer full of porn

When were you in my house? 

ha ha

Came out to do a service call for a client that had bought a house that we did. Older job that had a 8mm tape player. Owner was complaining that it did not work.
We tried to power it up with the remote, manually...nothing. We pulled it out of the rack for service and we found that it had been gutted and inside was a video camera pointing toward the couch.

Maybe we're missing the boat here.....I think the obvious way to grow our companies is to advertise in Porn magazines and websites.  Our customers are all obviously freaks.

Nice!

Hasbeen, I must say that you gave me a good laugh today. I do work for three brothers that refer to their father as the great white hunter. He has all of the trophies including the giraffe neck/head and a full lion. Right after I read your post, one of them walked in the store and I couldn't help but bust out laughing.


Btw, does anyone know what it costs just for the permits and tags to go on one of these hunting trips? I'm not talking about the cost of the actual trip or the taxidermy charges. Just the tags to allow you to go. You could buy a well equipped Korean car.

I was asking him yesterday about shipping the Giraffe head back.  He said that's the biggest hassle because it has to go through all of our customs stuff, get cleaned, etc.  (so outside non-american diseases aren't introduced).  He said that part of it.....and I quote...."Is a cash grab.... You have to pay everyone who comes in contact with it"

Obviously I wouldn't ask him about prices of stuff...I simply said, I wouldn't even know where to begin if I needed to ship a Giraffe head from Africa to the U.S.  

He said "Just call FEDEX"

When the Fedex guy delivered the Giraffe, he said the box closely resembled a coffin, with the word AFRICA stamped on it.  The Fedex guy asked the Mrs.  "If you don't mind me asking, what's in the box?" 

"A Giraffe head"

"Yeah, right"  and he walked away, thinking she was joking.

LMAO, thanks for making my night

If one is going to fly to Africa to be driven around in an air conditioned Range Rover so he can pick off an animal that is on the endangered species list just so he can ship it back and impress his ascot wearing, scotch drinking chums...yeah I'd agree to a cash grab amongst other types of "penalties".

Mondays are great for finding stuff left out. Recent ones include riding crop, condoms/lube/toys, shotgun, pipe 'n weed, and the weekend's "special" DVDs. One client typically has at least half of the DVRs in the house on porn channels whenever we show up. I've done a couple Fyre TV's (nsfw), including hidden ones. 

I've seen lots of the usual - dead rats in my face, bongs in closets/backpacks/crawl hatches, insane rigged high voltage wiring etc. 

One house had a 2nd floor master bath with a WC in a bay window popout facing the ocean, spectacular view through floor to ceiling windows. Right out over the semi-public beach. 

I'll have to think some for more...

The dope talk reminded me of a couple of more...

About 10 years ago I was installing a DirecTV system for a guy who was obviously up to no good.  None of my business, everyone needs TV.  

So I'm down in the basement and I'm running coaxial cable above the drop ceiling tiles in the basement.  I move a ceiling tile (it's a bit heavier than the rest)...Anyway, I slide it out of the way, and as I slide it, roughly 2-3 lbs of weed falls to the floor.  

I walked upstairs said.  "There's something in the basement you need to get" 

His eyes got as big as saucers. He runs downstairs, stays down their for a few minutes and comes back and says, ok you're all set. 

I move about 3 more ceiling tiles and the biggest wad of cash I'd ever seen fell to the ground. 

I walked upstairs...looked at him and said "You're killing me man." 

That is fing awesome and possibly distrubing....People are sick! The porn thing seems to be a common theme.

We once were hired by the customer to secretely put microphones throughout the home to spy on the wife. They were going through a divorce and he wanted to prove she was unfit to have custody. She definitely was bipolar! The husband made 10mil a year so I didn't blame him for wanting to hold his money.

I had a raccoon fall on me in a new construction. Bout as wired as it got for me.

Married couple guy 74 trophy wife 38 have seperate bedrooms

Oh another weird one. It was 1999 or 2000 and I was doing a serious system for a black radio legend in Chicago. Guy at the time is 72. James brown comes over to his house, client says James and I are going upstairs. I will introduce you in an hour or so. They came back down holding and eating bags of Doritos. Lets just say they were smoking weed and a lot of it. They were stoned to the bejesus