A bum living in the crawl space under an abandon home. That one scared the hell out of me. And the MOST f'd up thing about this was we had to enter from the crawl space because the house was locked and the contractor said just use the "hole in the foundation" and crawl up the ladder to get into the home. The very next day I went to a billionaires home.

I've seen one of these safari rooms before and it had one had every animal from Africa including elephant feet the was hollowed out to store other animal hides.

Another weird one was a matter of circumstance. We were using a fish tape to try to run some wires across a finished ceiling. The tape accidentally hooked on the knob of the dresser drawer which preceeded to pull the door out. There sat a butt plug with some gay porn. Mind you this was for a boy who was still in high school!

The worst was a sculpture of two guys. One was standing upright and the other was upsidedown. Picture the two men with one hand holding onto each other's units and the other was wrapped around their backs. That one made me pause for a second!

Once at a client's house, well, barn, before we all went out for a horse ride, one of the cowboys told the client to watch out for the mattababies. That was a high school joke in my life. The owner didn't give it a second thought, just said we'd be careful.

Often the strangest thing in the house is the client.


Oh. Okay, like that. Yes, a half dozen Picassos. Line drawings in ink, I believe, roman god and goddess type scenes.

Forgot one. It was years ago. The woman of the house let us in. She was wearing a see through lacy nightie of some sort with nothing underneath. What was underneath was not that noticeable because she had just gotten work done to her face, and I do mean JUST. The only thing I can really compare what her face looked like is road kill. It was N-A-S-T-Y!!!

Years ago when VCR's were still en vogue, I was called by a client to install one. She was a bright lady, she had connected it correctly, but it wouldn't work. I went over, told her it was defective and to get a new one.

a few days later she calls me back and says, I got the new one, will you come and connect it for me.  I go over, she tells me the story about how rude the store was about her bringing the other back.  Basically calling her stupid.  I connected the VCR.  Guess what?  No worky.  I happened to know a couple of sales guys at the store she purchased it from. I made a phone call, and told the store I'd be bringing it back in order to act as a buffer between this very nice lady, and what seemed to be a jerk at the store.  the sales guys that I knew weren't around.  

I walked in the store, they had a VCR ready for me.  He says "I guarantee this one will work"  

Drive back to the lady's house. 

Connect it, power it up, try to put a tape in it, the VHS tape won't go in.  I look in the door..There's already a tape. 

I press play. 

It's the stores surveillance tape.  These Jackholes, literally took the VCR that they were using to record their cameras, threw it in a box and sold it to this lady.  

I can still see the look on her face when she saw that tape.  I thought her hair was going to catch on fire.  She looked at me and said, "please disconnect it right now, I'll take care of it".  

I heard through the grapevine that she walked into the store in an absolute rage, told them to give her money back, and the minute they gave it back she picked up the VCR and threw it on the ground right in the store and said.  

"I bet you won't get a recording of that on your camera!" 

The store has since closed.

That's my kind of woman.

I've not come across too many strange things-couple bouts of porn but not when the customer was around. However, a breast pump incident remains fresh in my mind. Mainly because the wife of the house had non-chalantly attached one to her nipple while sitting on the couch in the same room we were working. She even proceeded to ask questions as if there was nothing weird about it. You'd think she would cover herself more, but that seemed to be low on her priority list for that day. It's a little strange trying to talk to someone with a straight face while that's happening. Unfortunately, she was definitely not hot - although I'm not sure that would have made it much better, well maybe a little better.

I've seen a lot of nudity and a few "personal movies" (accidental and on purpose) and was always able to keep a straight face and remain professional.

The only thing that blew my mind(and caused me to chuckle) was a bunker in a walkout basement.

It had a vault door on the inside of the house,along with concrete ceiling and walls.
At the back of the room was a cheap fiberglass overhead door leading to the backyard that didn't even lock!?!?

I have had many strange experiences over the last 30 or so years.

Parents with small children who are clueless about parental controls. Working on a theater downstairs after an hour or so I hear the wild squealing of little girls hysterical laughter. I didn't think much of it until I heard one of the girls say to the other, "what is that lady doing to that lady"  I though how crap. I ran up stairs and here were these three kids watching porn. They turned and looked at me laughing and said "look they rubbing the boobies together"  I walked over and unplugged everything. Left the parents a note about child safety features.

Crawling through a very narrow long shaft to get to a main crawl space. Hard to hold the light. Just before I got to the main space I swung the light around to find a dead moldy cat about 6 inches in front of my nose.

Opened a wall in an upscale house. the entire wall from floor to ceiling was full of caulking tubes. I couldn't get any wires though. So I tried the next bay over. that was full floor to ceiling with construction garbage, old lunches beer cans.

Been on several jobs over the years where I opened up a wall cavity to find an unopened beer bottle or can.

Panties in a wall.

Condoms in walls.

Tools--- SCORE!

Opened up a wall in a very old building to find an 80 year old cover less main electrical fuse panel.  The place had all new panels installed 15 years prior so I didn't think to much about it.  Had that old cloth covered wiring. They had removed all the fuse blocks and soldered all the wiring together and then wrapped that with what looked like hockey tape, which had subsequently turned to dust over time. I though lets just get this crap out of here so I went to cut one of the wires and vaporized my wire cutters.  Turned out that all of the wiring in the building spoked from this panel. The electricians who did the upgrade could never find this panel so they just worked around it. Wish I had a photo is was a terrifying mess with no disconnect except the meter outside.

One Time i was working in an attic space above a 4 car garage in a very hi end home. The home owner left and I got to work. after about an hour I heard the garage door open and an SUV pulled in. I looked down through the access and saw that it was the owners super hot 17 year old daughter. So I went back to work putting ends on RG6 in the attic  after about 15 minutes I started hearing some strange sounds coming from the garage. Turns out she was not alone as she was having sex with her boyfriend on the hood of the SUV. and here I am trapped with no way out of the attic right above them and they don't know I am there. It was very awkward situation I am thinking  ow crap what if dad comes home? And he knows I am up here working. Should I say something to scare them off should I say nothing would I get in trouble if they got caught. I was sweating bullets. Needless to say young people have a lot of stamina. In the car, on the car. out side the car. I though they would never leave

I could go on like this for an hour or more.....

I worked on a house very similar to thet about 10-12 years ago, The Giraffe was at the kitchen/living room door...as you walked out of the kitchen it was right over the door.

This was in SW washington

Bridesmaid & Groomsmen sexy time. Client paid me to be there during a wedding for any AV emergencies. I was asked to go to the workout studio building to turn the AV system on. I got there and ran right up the steps with my head down until i got to the top step. Both were super drunk. The bridesmaid looks up and says "sorry".

Both things that come to mind are from the same client. In their condo they have one of those double sided fireplaces right in front of the bath tub on the other side of the fireplace is the main living room. And once I got called over to trouble shoot no picture on the tv in the bedroom and when she led me into the bedroom there was an almost comically big dildo on the floor that she "discretely" kicked under the bed at her first chance when I was looking at the tv. My face couldn't have got any redder.

My boss visited a home of a well know software guy's "home" if you could call it that... As he entered the cavernous Living Room there stood a complete life-sized skeleton of a T-Rex! Wish I could have seen it!

Your profile does not list a location. Sounds like Adray's in the LA area. Their Wilshire store camera department had a pool going every day, and to win you had to make a female customer cry.


I was inured to that early on. My ex breastfed, and she's a doula. I'm probably the only guy I know whose house had a diagram of the muscular structures of the perineal floor on the wall in the office. Her office.

Oh, yeah -- another installer I was working with found about a half dozen desiccated Hollywood Hills rats under a Hollywood Hills house and lined them up in a row so the first thing you saw when you opened up the crawl access was what looked like a row of Muppet rats.

On the porn side... we installed a projection system in a very upscale residence (years ago)... He called up and said the projector needed color adjustment. We scheduled a visit, but we got stuck in traffic... we got there late (before cell phones). His housekeeper said he had to run to his office, but she let us in. We go to his theater, and turn on the system and fire up the VCR. To our shock and horror a snuff film was playing, and just then the homeowner returns and walks in as we were trying to frantically kill the power to the VCR!!! The (embarrassed) home owner then starts yelling at us for trespassing, threatening to sue us bla bla bla. As I looked over at his floor to ceiling well organised VHS tape storage, I couldnt help but notice there were about 500 of them - all with various porn titles and most appeared to be pretty uhm... hard-core!
Can't tell you how many times I've run into similar situations, and usually with the people that you would least expect!!!

Sounds like my Latin Girfriend --- a little on the hot-temper side! 8>)

Yeah, you don't realize how much people really love them some porn.

Unless the TV is in their living room, they've got young kids, you can almost bet that if you press play, you're about to see some tig ol' bitties.