I've seen some weird stuff in houses.  But today took the cake.  I drove out into the boonies today, met with a guy for a complete makeover of his existing system.  

I walked into the home. Nice home, but nothing "castle-esqe" roughly 5-6000 sq ft.  This guy has taxidermied animals EVERYWHERE.  I mean everywhere.  I didn't ask how many, but he's easily got 200 taxidermied animals from all over the world in his home.  Gazelles, the obligatory white tail deer,  full mounts of Grizzly Bears, Zebras, Everything!  Animals I've never seen and never knew existed.  But here's the good part.  

He had the full neck and head of a Giraffe.  Yes, a friggin' Giraffe.  I thought I'd seen it all.  But that's the weirdest thing I'd ever seen in a home.  

I think I've got a good chance of getting the install, I'll be sure to share pics when done.  

Did he have a dead dickfer?

I'll just smile and wait.

^^ Creepy

Three that stick out in my mind:

6 foot tall oil painting of the Mrs. of the house gowned in flowing white silk riding bareback on a unicorn. That was hanging above the main living areas fireplace for all to see.

Gut remodel job. Mirrored ceiling above master bed. Eh, no big deal, right? Until they removed the mirrored ceiling only to find a couple hidden cameras behind it. PLAYER!

One that I had my hands all up in. Russian guy didn't trust anyone in his life including his wife. We installed a hidden safe in an even more hidden area of the basement. The safe contained amongst other things, guns, bullet-proof fabric by the yard and oh yeah, the telephone termination point and recording system for the wire tap we installed that auto-recorded all calls to and from the residence.

Back in the free directv install days, I arrived at a trailer house outside of Wichita that had grass right off the front deck. In this grass was a bald spot. In this bald spot was the leftover fur of what used to be a cat. Clearly, someone poured some sort of acid on the cat and it basically melted everything in a 3ft radius. You know in the tom & jerry cartoons where a safe falls on jerry and it leaves a residual catlike silhouette ? It looked exactly like that. I am a dog person however.....

Bwhahahahah....That's awesome.  I wonder if his apartment smelled of Rich Mahogany, with many leather bound books.

I went outside to smoke a cigarette.  Thinking about the naked woman on the Unicorn...

You've gotta say something about a picture like that don't you?  You can't just walk by something like that and act like it's normal.  It's as rare as seeing a Picasso, you can't just walk by and not say something.  

What does a person say about the woman of the house naked riding a Unicorn without laughing or offending everybody within a 30' radius.  

I know what I'd say in my head, I just don't think I could let it come out of my mouth.  LOL

Haha you're going to be dreaming about her now aren't you?

The man of the house greeted us at the front door and we walked by it and I saw it out of the corner of my eye and thought to myself "hmm that's odd, and quite large and someone actually payed an oil painting artist good money to have that done". So, we went about our business.

It wasn't until the next day the lady of the house made her presence known and introduces herself and my co-worker says "OH! you're the one in the painting!" I was crying I was laughing so hard.

|

Oh God.  

Where's you Unicorn?  

Holy crap, I'm crying laughing....

My neighbor in high school had a nude of his wife in the den. Shoulders up bag city shoulders down amazing. Artist hippy chick type nude sun bathing behind and slat fence, walked around topless in the back yard.

Did she by chance have a Unicorn?  When I become President of the Universe, I will mandate that all hotchicks must own Unicorns, and ride them nude around town.

this happened a few months ago, We did a man cave last year or so and the blueray player took a shit and he also wanted to add a few items to the rack, No problem as I always do I opened up the player to take out any disks that might have been left in there, Welllllll; As the customer is standing next to me I open the drawer to find "Hardcore Gay Porn" literally the name of it with the most explicit picture you could possibly think (ill spare the details, its permaburned in my brain). He turns bright red and looks at me like he's about to cry and says "please dont mention this to my WIFE" that was the most awkward 20 seconds of my life. Wife never goes down there, at all this room was truely built for him. I uhh, washed my hands really well after that one.

Literally a month before that i was working for one of the areas most "famous" lawyer and asked if i could move his 6 disk DVD player up to the bedroom. Just like i always do i open it up and find 6 dvd's of porn, thought that was weird until the mancave incident came along.

And another time, we were doing a new construction mansion and last minute things were being wrapped up on the day of move in, Now these people are the most conservative christian type people, the wife was insanely hot but very quiet as i was screwing a faceplate on a touch panel in the master bedroom the mover knudges me and wipers DUDE look at the boxes. he was carrying up 3 boxes labled "bondage gear" as soon as he showed me that it hit me like a TON OF BRICKS what the "birdcage" hook in the corner of the room was for. Back when the house was being built i remembered what the builder was saying when he was installing a small steal beam in the corner of the room saying "wtf kind of hanging birdcage requires a steal beam for an attachment point" A few months later when I saw the builder at a bar I told him and he just laughed hysterically, that beam caused the poor guy ALOT of grief and failed inspection 3 times because the inspector didnt like the attachment

those are my top three stories. you would think you would clear out your DVD players before an AV guy comes along,especially when its broke and label a box a little more discrete :)

I would like to live in your universe.

mcn779 reminds me of another fun day on the job. Working in a house and there's hot chick (late 20's) sun bathing fully naked by the pool and walking around like it's nothing crazy. The owner of the house (a man) says to me "did you meet my sister yet". WTF! I didn't believe him at first until later when I met his wife.

In this day and age, I don't feel that nudity, bondage, and being gay is all that outrageous. I really don't know what would weird me out, but it's not those things. I've known so many...unusual people, that it's just not shocking.



Maybe I have too many friends on the lunatic fringe.

A while ago I installed a 70" Sharp in a clients master bedroom. I also had to clean up the mess of wiring that was in their closet where the equipment was located. On the shelf directly to the right was a set of self improvement books. Well, by self improvement, I mean how to teach yourself to be better at the art of cunilingus. There were others as well, all related to pleasuring a woman. In the DVD player was a Kama Sutra disc. When demoing the tv and changes I made to their awfully programmed remote, I mentioned the DVD button but did not press it, hoping to move past what would otherwise be an awkward moment. He of course said, "can we test the DVD please?" What else could I do but start it up? The best part is he blamed his wife, who just then happened to walk into the room. We ended up having a laugh about it. I get to go there tomorrow to hang another TV. I wonder what I will find.