Just got back from 3 weeks on a remote island (jungle) in Brasil with my GF...
* 1st day got food poisoning from eating rancid beef - hurled for 3 days, sick for a week and a half could only hold down water and spoonfuls of rice.
*Was at a bingo game with the islanders, and a fight broke out and a guy at our table whipped out a bowie knife.
* Broke my middle toe and 3 ribs slipping on a trail.
* Cut my feet hiking, and walked through a septic pool river (my feet broke out in huge puss filled blisters and my feet swelled (they are still swollen and still braking out in these nasty blisters).
* Got a little sick from the above.
* Drank some hotel water (if you could call it a hotel) and was later informed it was collected rain water full of mosquito larva etc. --- got super sick with fever, hot and cold flashes for four days.
* Mild concussion after this islander gave me 2 shots of something, literally fell backwards in my chair hit a tile floor.
* Had my galaxy 2 s phone stolen but managed to track the guy down and retrieve it.
*Literally could not sleep for weeks more than a couple hours a night because the hundreds of roosters, and wild dogs would start crowing and barking at 3:AM each morning. So loud I could hear them over my Kindle Fire earbuds!!!
* got lost on the island (no one spoke english) lost for 3 hours.
*went out in the heavy surf, got slammed to the Ocean floor, inhaled two lung fulls of water... crawled to the beach and hurled on the beach as my GF took picture laughing hysterically.
* Woke up with my body covered in welts from very toxic Tiger mosquitos... miserably itchy for 3 days. No island medical help. The wealts were the size of fingernails. Unreal.
* repeatedly had islanders steal our premium booze
Had money taken out of my wallet I'd hidden in my room!
* Was cooked a nice dinner by an islander couple cooked "from our hearts" (I thought, wow! how cool and thoughtful... although I could only take a couple of bites (still sick)... after the meal I got up and thanked them and they pesented me with a bill from the grocery store for $62.00! ...And THEY ate almost all of it.
* Got sick again and for some reason my right hip (which has never had a problem) "locked up" and it was burning and very painful... took a day for it to go away, so I could just lay in my Tiger mosquito laden room---got eaten alive again, and the pain of the hip got worse and worse, then went away.
* Got lost in the Sao Paulo airport and almost missed THAT flight back to Chicago!!!
*At the beginning of the flight ( a 27 hour flight to Chicago & then Seattle) my neck glands swelled up, got hot and cold flashes, a fever and I made about 5 trips to the bathroom to hurl etc. on the plane.
*Because of my ribs, I could not get comfortable in the seat and did not sleep, just sat there in extreme pain not sleeping. With crying babies in front and in back of me!

Today I'm back at work eating Aleve like M&M's & dumping peroxide on my feet!

Never fricking again! It took about 12 years off my life-span. Sort of a cross between Apocalyps Now & Survivor.

Edit / update: Took a shower this morning and the skin on my feet came off in layers! Three layers or so! Off to the Dr.'s!

WOW...I hurt just reading this.

mental note, forget about going to remote island in Brazil...

My GF wanted to buy a Bed & Breakfast there... I told her she was out of her mind.

I almost kissed the ground when I got back to Seattle!

And the most disturbing part of the story?  

Mr. Stanley has a walkman.


Holy crap man.  That sounds like a tropical version of Planes, Trains, and automobiles.

THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!  :0

Glad you made it out alive.  Did you think that maybe your girlfriend was trying to collect an insurance policy on you?

Correction, I'm pretty tired, actually it was my Kindle Fire... I'll go back and edit that! LOL

My Hi Fi down there was my Tivoli Songbook with the Kindle Fire running into the Aux input... The next day, My Tivoli Songbook went missing! Nice!

Were you flying on a Cessna 172 or something!?

No, a 777. I got sick again either from the dinner "cooked from our hearts" deal, or a reaction to the foot infection or a otuch of the flu. My immune system is pretty beat up, and before heading off to work today saw that I'd lost 12 pounds (and I'm skinny as hell already)!

Damn man. That sounds like pure hell. I can't believe it took 27 hours to fly from Brazil to Chicago either. Did you swing by Europe, Africa, and then head home?

Typically, they run through Miami airport for the South American flights. That adds a whole lot of time to the process as you go through customs, etc.

yeah, but when I flew to Columbia (Armenia - right in the middle) it took about 4 hrs Chicago to Miami, then 4 hours to Bogata, then about 30-45 minutes to Armenia.

Mr. Stanley must have traveled by burro or something to take that long.

FYI, you can fly into the Houston airport as well when flying into or out of south/central america

I understand that. I just took as actual flight time when he said a 27 hour flight.

I'll submit a script for Hangover 3.

27 hour in the air including from Cubitina to Sao Paul... long assed time

+1000

Honestly... Somewhere around item 3 or 4, I would have been on my way to the nearest Hilton, cost be damned.

I understand going local, but when the locals are having knife fights over a bingo game, it's time to reassess who you've decided to be around! The fact you stuck it out, makes me doubt your sanity.

Seriously, why did you stay? Was the name of the place "The BDSM Inn"?