Are you planning to spend a lot of money?
I think you could do everything you want with an AMX landmark system. I would say it will cost about 10 grand, but you need to be a certified dealer to get the equipment and program the system.

I can't think of a less expensive system way to do it. The Xantech IR router will work, but the A/V switching via remote is the expensive part.

Good Luck
Jason