Q: My wife keeps nagging me about spending too much time watching internet porn. How can I get her off my case?

A: Easy. Break out those nude pictures you took of her when you were first married and threaten to post them if she doesn't shut up.


Q: I'm going to Vegas for a convention next week, and I've heard you can actually find hookers there. If so, how can I find them?

A: You're kidding, right?


Q: I think Hillary is a really hot looking babe. Do you think I'd have a chance with her if she and Bill split up?

A: Assuming you're a lesbian, I suppose so!


Q: My husband threatened to post nude pictures of me when we were first married because I harp on him to stop looking at internet porn. What shoud I do?

A: Quick! Get those pictures and put them in an envelope and send them to me right away. (He! he! he!)


Q: Every time my wife's hot sister comes to visit, my dog goes over and humps her leg. What should I do?

A: Lock Fido up, buy yourself a dog costume and have at it!


Q: I'm a 24 year old single guy who recently moved, and after unpacking all of my stuff, I still can't find all of my Cher albums. Do you think the movers could have stolen them?

A: Good question. To find out, just go to the nearest gay bar and see if any of your movers are hanging out there.


Q: What is the meaning of life?

A: It exists to answer questions from idiots like you.