1) Use utensils if you prefer; they come in handy when you're eating a gooey deep-dish pie, you will need a clean keyboard.
2) In case of the death of an active player or a player who has been retired, a player who is otherwise eligible to play shall post in the next available post, providing said post is no more than 3 posts after the last post of the deceased (or retired player) or when the Thread moves to a new page, whichever occurs first.
3) Keep things competitive (or just annoy your opponents) by creating a bizzare post that will be a challenge to reply to. Or at the very least, create one that makes absolutely no sense (foreign languages are good).
4) You must put your right hand to your head and extend your left hand with the thumbs up, saying "Well!" Then, clap your hands and then do the same with your feet.
5) Any post made while in the trick circle (or Box) counts as a try.
6) To begin you must sit on your chair with a funnel in your hands. Your keyboard at your feet on the floor. When the Contest Banner starts a new cycle, put the funnel on your face (so as to see your keyboard only through the little opening) and begin to type your post using chop-sticks held between your toes.
7) After two-minutes, and throughout any overtime period, any referee review will be initiated by the replay assistant in the replay booth.
8) Omit unnecessary words. Or at least render them invisible.
9) As the music plays you must walk around in a circle. When the music stops you must have grasped the meaning of the previous post. A person who hasn't, is out for 3 posts after the incomprehensible post or until the Thread moves to a new page, whichever occurs first.
10) If asked: "What is there in my sac?" The player must try to guess. The player who guesses closest gets one of the following prizes: a toy hen or hedgehog, an orange, a lollipop, an ink-pad, a toy drum, an apple or a package of yoghurt. Sometimes its not easy to guess what is in the sac. So a clue may be given such as: "edible - inedible" etc.
11) Allocate a minimum of three drinks per player. For a new page, figure on at least six drinks per player.
12) On hearing the word "land" the you must wait 2 posts before posting, on hearing the word "water" you must take a bathroom break (whether you need to or not - you must push your underwear to your ankles, sit, flush then wash your hands with hot, soapy water and completely dry them before returning to the game), at which point the word "land" is suddenly changed into "$42.63". Your reaction to this must be the same as after the word "land". The word "water" may also appear in disguise as the word "J-Lo".
13) If there is no rule 13, go to
Rule #36.
14) Put a chair on its fore legs on the floor. The back and the hind legs are parallel to the ground. Put a slice of bread on the top of the back, kneel in the cross-bar between the hind legs, take the back with your hands, bending your head to the slice of bread, grab it with your mouth without tipping over.
15) The Thread's Author shall be free to change any rules at his whim and to change the language of various rules based on the nationality and the level of competency of any particular player.
16) To join two independent clauses, use a comma followed by a conjunction, a semicolon alone, or a semicolon followed by a sentence modifier.
17) Turn your volume all the way up and standing with your back to the computer monitor, you must guess the source of a noise. Any page may contain random Background Sounds, utilizing different kinds of noises made with the help of different objects.
18) Turn the pantslegs of a pair of Boxer Shorts inside out. Hang them on the back of a chair. The player and the chair stand with their backs to each other at a distance of 1 yard. Put a 6 foot piece of rope between both their legs. On hearing any sound, you take your Boxers off the chair, turn the pantslegs rightside in, put them on and spin around 5 times counter-clockwise. Then run around the chair, take a seat and tie a sheep-shank knot around yourself and the chair.
19) Two Thousand Point Penalty for inserting non-working links. If you correct your link within 5.625 minutes of being caught, the penalty shall be 1,999 points. You must always keep your seat belt snug (see Rule 18).
20) Legal Words: All words that are a part of speech are Legal (including those of foreign origin, archaic, obsolete, colloquial and slang). Plurals are okay, too!
Illegal Words: Words that are always spelled with a capital letter, words that require an apostrophe or hyphen, prefixes and suffixes standing alone are illegal (exception being, if they are in pairs: ie - inged, or leyies).
21) Loop the Loops must be done with feet fixed, hands akimbo and eyes shut. (Unfixed feet create a liability issue for which we are not covered).
22) You’ll score the most points by changing a letter that’s positioned under a column containing the most unchanged letters.
23) An incorrect post (as judged by the person whose post you are replying to, who catches you trying to EDIT your previous post) means control reverts to the player who caught you out. Therefore, any Edit made by you AFTER the 'Catcher' catches you, renders any EDIT you make Null & Void. therefore . . .
YOU LOSE!!!! 24) Once per page you are allowed to stand on a chair or a stool and take on a majestic air. And assume the role of the Great Mogul.
25) When working on your 4x4 with another guy, it is NOT acceptable to use terms like "thingamajig" and "whatsit" when referring to tools such as an oil filter wrench, particularly when a female is within earshot. (This has nothing to do with this game . . . it's just a good rule)!
26) The next task is to go through a corridor. But before going through the corridor you must turn around for 7-8 times. You must turn around quickly with the right hand up, pointing with your middle finger, or with your hands hand-cuffed at the back of your head, or with your hands super glued to your ankles.
27) Use proper punctuation to integrate a quotation into a sentence. If the introductory material is an independent clause, add the quotation after a colon. If the introductory material ends in "thinks," "saying," or some other verb indicating expression, use a comma.
28) Yuoo moost dreenk a toombler ooff uny elcuhuleec beferege-a veet uny hurs-d'ooeoofre-a veethuoot useeng yuoor hunds. Bork Bork Bork!
This message was edited by MrKlaatu on 09/27/02 23:45.45.
diots, and can't help you here. Your only other recourse is to go and repost your question, worded and styled correctly. If you are an RC member, please post in the appropriate Forum. If you are not an RC member, please scroll down and post in the Non-RC-Member Posting Area (non-existant). For help with customizing your Remote (adding images, music, functionality, etc.), please go somewhere else, as we cannot be bothered with that kind of nonsense here. If you believe your Remote isn't working right, please go somewhere else to report it. Maybe someone there will be able to help fix the problem.
