*AMAZING HOME REMEDIES*

THESE REALLY WORK!!

1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH YOUR WIFE ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT. USE THE SINK.
 
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. BELIEVE ME, YOU WILL NOT COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, ITS AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY CAN BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE IF PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

This is a complete, nothing left out and fully factual and proven set of remedies. TY and we appreciate your diligence in posting this.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH YOUR WIFE ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT. USE THE SINK.

Why is it i have to put the seat down but she doesn't have to put the seat up? Double standard!

Kind of like getting married, Whats hers is hers and whats yours is hers

I have a client that says he has learned to pee sitting down, Has kept his marrige strong for 30 years now.

[Link: presentsformen.co.uk]

I stopped that argument with my GF by asking her to consider this. She NEEDS the seat but cannot seem to remember in the middle of the night.

I am supposed remember this while half asleep. Make my way to the BR, remember to be courteous for her sake and lift the lid. Accurately aim and fire. Then while still drowsy, I am supposed to remember the courteous but wholly unnecessary action for myself, of returning the lid to the supine position for her benefit. So who does she think must be superior?

That was a year or so ago and it has never been brought up again although I do TRY to put the seat down.

I just pee in the sink or out the window.....


A simple solution is always best....

Scene at A&E . . .

"And how did this happen?"

"Usual thing, middle of the night, needed a pee, but couldn't be bothered to trek to the bathroom. Decided to relieve myself out of the bedroom window . . . then the sash cord broke."