my life is poo at the moment , i feel trapped and constantly mentally harassed by a person i love deeply , i have been with this person a long time and they have stuck with me through my darkest hours and my greatest achievement ..now i find myself seeing this person in a whole different light,

when did i let this happen? it seems a slow transition over many years has allowed me to take what i now look at as unreasonable behaviour as normal.

I feel bullied into conforming to how they want me to live my life and make me feel guilty for not doing this or doing that.

I am not after sympathy or advice or a shoulder to cry on (thanks for those who offered recently)

I realised that any change i have to do myself

i realised that i need to sort my own stall out to be who i want to be.

I hope that if there is anyone out there that has been through this sort of thing or is going through it right now , can gain strength from not being alone and will grab the impetus for change in there personal life.

this forum has long been a place where i could come and sprout balls..lol

In a few months i hope to be back "changed " and back on form

best wishes to all that know me and hi to all that dont yet

Rob

We trap ourselves into these miserable & hopeless situations. No amount of heartache or debt can stop you from putting the brakes on and getting out of the car. (assuming you dont have children of course, if you do ignore me)

Life is to short to live under someones thumb. Whether they were the boogie man or woman when you met them or if your habits and behaviors somehow helped mold them into the super demon they have become.. none of that matters because you cant rewind the clock and the blame game wont solve your problems.

Your choices are to stay there, miserable and try to work things out or remove yourself entirely and start over. This time you will be armed with knowledge and insight you did not posses before.

Good luck.

I wasted 6 yrs of my life in the same situation. Always trying to be the person I was "suppost" to be...

Sad part is, at the end, I was the one trying to save what was smothering me.

Now a couple years later, I couldn't be happier and I'm amazed at what I willingly endured back then.

My advice... Walk away and never look back.

5 yrs for me- I won't say 'wasted' but people do change and I saw it coming. If I had spoken up sooner, we might still be friends, but I waited until it boiled over and now its cost me in too many ways to count.

The sooner you act, the better off you'll be in the long run.

Some good advice in this thread.

I'm currently the unhappiest I've been in 9 years. I'm going through a break-up right now (3 and a bit years). We are separating amickably due to differing directions of life. She wants kids - I don't think I do. I'm not 100% certain, but it's not the sort of thing you can go into half-hearted so my choice is to let her go to follow her true calling - She was BORN to be a mother.

I'm dealing with the break-up ok, but the thing that's breaking me at the moment is mostly work. It's just not where I feel like I'm meant to be. Every day, I feel like I want it to be my last one there. I guess I have the hope that some day it'll change and all be great, similar to what we feel in a bad relationship. Thing is, at the moment with employment prospects so bleak, I don't feel like I can go anywhere. There are options out there, but as I'm thinking of buying a house, I have to keep the banks happy and show stable employment.

Conundrum.

Not meaning to hijack here, but just to show that you're not alone, Rob.

Last time I left a long-term relationship, it had just fizzled. There wasn't really anyone doing the wrong thing, but starting the ball rolling and eventually getting out was the best move I ever made.

Been there a couple of times... It blows. Time does heal though, and keep up or rebuild relationships with your past & current friends, turn off the TV and get-out on the town a little.

I was in one long relationship and kept hoping for (her) to change and become a happier, calmer, more secure person by my working my arse off getting a nice house, cars, kids... but it didn't change her... that has to come from within I guess.

Hang in there man, and keep your sense of humor.

www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/play/80660063


a cover i sang it seems to represent how i feel

this week i feel a bit better

good to hear

Is that you singing in the link from post 7 and this youtube video in post 8? Your good! I bet the karaoke biz is a lot of fun. I don't do anything fun these days. Remote Central is my extra curricular activity LOL.

Sad ain't I? Why did i ever agree to growing up?!

yep thats me in link 7 and 8 ..cheers mate i have a lots of fun ..singing has helped me feel good about myself and helped me through bad times , i love all sorts of music ..and remotes were my way of controlling music and video but my first love is music.

thanks for the kind comments too

another with me singing (bet your all fed up of these now lol)

We have the choice to watch, or not watch.

If posting these makes you happy, then far be it from any of us to stop you!

:)

Who could hate flash dance :)?