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Topic:
Microsoft vs General Motors
This thread has 7 replies. Displaying all posts.
Post 1 made on Tuesday October 3, 2006 at 03:19
Mr Mod
Founding Member
Joined:
Posts:
August 2001
1,273
You might enjoy this
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated "if GM had kept up
with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon. In response
to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If
GM had developed technology like Microsoft; we would all be driving
cars with the following
characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off
the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive ? but would run only on five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Post 2 made on Tuesday October 3, 2006 at 03:50
GregoriusM
RC Consultant
Joined:
Posts:
December 1999
9,801
ROFL, especially #10.
When ignorance is bliss, ‘tis folly to be wise.
Post 3 made on Tuesday October 3, 2006 at 05:50
djy
RC Moderator
Joined:
Posts:
August 2001
34,393
An oldie, but goodie.

One can now also add, one car, one driver. You may be a family of four, but only one is allowed to drive "the" car - the others have to get their own. (So much for fuel efficiency).

The GM genuine advantage - your car won't be serviced if you don't allow it to be inspected for genuine GM parts.

The genuine GM parts come with bits missing - so it regularly needs to go back for another service.
Post 4 made on Friday October 6, 2006 at 19:55
paul addy
Long Time Member
Joined:
Posts:
December 2005
478
missing that right!!! yeh
Post 5 made on Saturday October 7, 2006 at 17:42
djy
RC Moderator
Joined:
Posts:
August 2001
34,393
So I said to the taxi driver, 'King Arthur's Close'. He said, 'Don't worry, we'll lose him at the next set of lights'
Post 6 made on Saturday October 7, 2006 at 17:46
paul addy
Long Time Member
Joined:
Posts:
December 2005
478
a guy goes into a paint shop and asks for a tin of red paint, the man behind the counter replies, sorry mate we only sell blue, at which the customer replies, its alright ive got my bike outside!!
Post 7 made on Sunday October 8, 2006 at 12:50
djy
RC Moderator
Joined:
Posts:
August 2001
34,393
I got home from work and the wife said - I'm very sorry dear, but the cat's eaten your dinner'. I said 'Dont worry - I'll get you a new cat'.
Post 8 made on Sunday October 8, 2006 at 17:39
paul addy
Long Time Member
Joined:
Posts:
December 2005
478
Is that the updated verion of dinner in the dog joke. didn't think i'd hear a mention about a full pussy on this forum.


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