There have been a lot of really good points made here. I'll try to add a few more.
1. You and your spouse will be spending a lot of time together when and if you retire. Get to know and enjoy each other now. No one knows how long either of you have. Accidents and illnesses do happen and not just to other people.

2. No one lies on their deathbed and says, "If I'd only spent more time at the office...".

3. Life is what happens while you're making other plans.

4. If you enjoy what you do and you enjoy the people you work with and you can live on what you make, be content with what you have. If not, change something to get there.

5. Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.

6. Someone is going to influence your children. It might as well be you.

Great thread guys!
I'm guilty here as well.
Some very good advice too.
I have some thinking to do.

WOW

I thought I was the only person going throught this stuff I have been in business for seven years and still going throught the typical growing pains trying to find the formula for growth without killing myself.

I am 31 and no wife kids or life to speak of I really think a wife and kids is what I was working this hard for I figured if I started early I would be ahead of the game but if you can't break away long enough to find the wife etc etc. Some of you seasoned guys with your comments in this thread are really making me think.

A year ago I bought a company in Florida my curreent business is in CT what a crazy person I was to go and make that move not only am I working more than time allows in a 24 hour day but now I'm flying back & forth as well.

I haven't taken a real break in over 3 years. Time just seems to run together and I'm really starting to get burnt out. Tough to enjoy something that has consumed my life but I can't figure out how to break the cycle and not feel like I have failed in some way.

Well just wanted to add my input and say thanks for all of your comments lets me know I'm not alone.

You only live once my friend, you HAVE to take a break once in a while.

I was working all kinds of crazy hours to try to get ahead, then my mom had a really bad stroke. Changed my perspective, I'll tell ya. Don't even think twice to drop everything to go visit her during the day or quitting at 5 so we can hang out.

Seems that all of my client's so far have shown so much sympathy. I have really been amazed.

I have the mindset that if you think your system is more important than life, you can go F#$k yourself.

Take care of youselves and the ones you love, nobody's system will be there for you in the end. Thats my take anyways.

I've been absent from my own thread for a few days due to more bloody stones... they just keep passing. I've lost almost 20 pounds though!!! maybe I should write a diet book.

Erik, sounds like you are in my neighborhood... once I can keep something down we should blow off our current clients for an evening beer.

I'm glad that my intent was served somewhat... sounds like a few of us are ulcer bound. I'm trying to break my cycle and also don't know how. I guess I'm a megalomaniac who feels he must have his stamp on everything so I promise myself out to the hilt and whenever someone wants something or needs a service call or whatever I give them the "I'll be there as soon as possible" placation.

I managed to get into work for a few hours yesterday and began a new scheduling tryout. I'm actually blocking out what time I intend to be off... when I'm blocked out for generating proposals, etc. etc. A few clients are dismayed at having to wait till December but I can now honestly say that life is just more important. Let the young bucks who can sacrifice their entire beings take care of those clients who want it all... YESTERDAY!!

RSS, I worked retail at Magnolia Hi-Fi and others for almost 12 years. I always had girlfriends but could never sustain a relationship (kind of hard when you never have weekends off). I quit to start my own thing in 95 and met my wife that summer. You are absolutely right that you'll never find the wife if you can't devote time. In the beginning I only installed for Good Guys and did drywall jobs. My partner and I worked hard but we never missed a social function because we scheduled them in. We were always off on weekends and it seemed to go easy. Somewhere in 96 it got tougher as there were more clients to manage but I always kept a lid on growth. I even closed the business down for a month in 98 to go to Europe with my new wife for the World Cup. The guy who fed me the most at Good Guys eventually became my new partner and he was GROWTH, GROWTH, GROWTH! wanted us to look like the biggest thing since sliced bread. Honestly felt that we would be the second coming of Definitive Audio... well, his inability to actually plan for an operation like this has grown us out of my comfort zone but the machine is rolling... how do you stop it? How do you get back to the simpler times? That is my quest (sounds like something out of Monty Python & the Holy Grail). Chasing the almighty dollar has made me forget what else there is. I've been to over 300 concerts... been to 4 in the last 2 years. I love snowboarding... I've been on my board 6 times in the last 5 seasons. Used to play soccer three times a week... haven't been on a team since 2003... F*!K that S^*T!! If this business can't be run in way that allows all of these things plus the proper amount of family time then I'll be back on this board as a "former" owner.

"They intoxicate themselves with work so they won't see how they really are."
Aldous Huxley

RHM - Fixing your problem isn't as hard as it seems. There is the 80/20 rule. 80% of your headache will come from 20% of your clients. Cut that 20 off immediately. Then regroup. Will you then have a few down days. Yep, but that is a great time to regroup. Call customers, collect money, do a few proposals, whatever. Just get rid of a few the real A hole clients. For sanity sake.

Kevin

Don't give up, Rowland, just regroup. Get healthy first & regroup. I actually turned my biz off for 6 - 8 months. Clients understand. The good ones get it & the other ones you don't need. I hear you about the "diet plan". I lost 50 lbs in 4 1/2 months. From 225 to 175. I'm up now to around 198. It's a better weight for me anyway & I'm in the best shape I've been in in 20 years! Erik