Cust on phone: "I cant get a picture"

Me: "Is the green light on the satellite reciever on?"

Cust: "No"

Me: "Press the red power button on the remote"

Cust: "Oh! thanks, that did it"



Me: "Fookin idiot!" (On the INSIDE)

At least a hundred times on this one....

I know this has nothing to do with HTs or what not.

I work at Foxwoods in the Keno department, Keno is like lottery to put it mildy but it's drawn every 5 minutes instead of every 7 days.

I had a cosutmer come up to me and asked me to cash her out a ticket that she bought last week. As she was looking for it I asked her how many games was on the ticket, she told me was only 10 games and that we told her that she can cash it out with in thirdy days. My responce to that was that she bought the ticket from the other casino Mohegan Sun, not Foxwoods.

"But I thought Keno, is Keno. Doesn't matter where I bought, you should still be able to cash it for me."

"Um no, here's a question for you. If you were to buy a lottery ticket from New York, will you be able to come to Connecticut to cash it out?"

Then she just walked away.

How about....

"My new computer isn't working right, I think the foot pedal is broken."
"Foot Pedal Ma'am? I think you'll find that's the mouse"

Or...

"My TV's got no picture"
"Are there any lights on on the front of the TV?"
"No."
"Can you check the power plug to make sure it's connected?"
"I can't see behind the TV it's so dark."
"Can you turn on a light?"
"Sorry but the power's out.... Maybe I have a flashlight...?"

Or...

"What's this "design hours" charge for? I didn't ask for that."

Or

"That's OK, I don't need you to be licensed, is there a discount if we don't use that?"

aah Good times...

Opening line after not hearing from a customer for two years:

"I bought everything from you and it has never worked right from the beginning."

Their problem is (are) the one or two cheapo components they have bought since then and installed improperly.

"I can't believe it takes 8 hours to install this" .... 6 rooms of audio w/ VC's, RETRO ... I was cutting them a break on labor ...

"Three to five ours just to connect my components?.....Wow, you must be even slower then I am."

"What's this subwoofer thing do and why do I need it?"

Well sir, the subwoofer provides all of the bass response to your system.

"Well, what if we don't want a base?"

Few Years Back.....

Went to a house to add a VCR to an existing TV, probably about a 2 year old Sony. Noticed that the Sony S sitcker was still on the picture tube in the corner. Not sure how to bring up the fact that it was just a sticker so I finished the hookup, showed them how to use it and was about to leave when I said "You know, that S in the corner of the picture is just a sticker?", their reply, (and I can quote this word for word because you got to love people like this) "We know, but we didn't want to take it off because then the TV wouldn't be new anymore."

Customer had to wait two weeks for me to come out and hook up new receiver with A speakers in living room and B Speakers in den. Wanted his VCR hooked up to play too. Seemed like a smart enough guy... software engineer and all. Did the install and left with a check.

At about 10PM that night I get a call from my enraged customer... pissed off that after making him wait two weeks I would forget the he wanted the VCR sound through his new speakers... how dare I not listen... was he going to have to wait two more weeks? I asked him what the display said on the Yamaha receiver and he started reading things that were printed on the face. When I asked him what the Orange lighted display said he informed me that it was blank. I told him to go to the upper left corner and push the "power" button. The last place I'd left it was on VCR1 and there was the sound coming through the phone. The last thing he said, I guess to save face, was that I should have told him the receiver must be "ON" to get sound through his speakers.

I have always loved the guy who says he has a "nice" Kenwood home theater reciever....Doesn't need a new one. Buys 3k worth of speakers. When you get there its the Kenwood reciever he got in college. Oh and by the way, he's a regular at the IHOP because he gets a sweet seniors discount.

Or, I really love the sound from my Bose system!. My brother-in-law installed it, so can you take it out of my existing home, and put it in my new 600k 5000sq ft home? Oh yeah, I want to play music through my house off of it....What? I need a amp? Can't i just put one speaker from the Bose in each room? (me to customer: Do you have a gun I can borrow sir?)

This one is actually easy to rectify so it will never happen. For any amp with tape monitor facility that is not being used, simply insert a set of RCA leads from the tape in terminals to out tape out terminals during install and this problem can't happen. You still get your sound wheather tape is on or off.

Simon.

While showing an elderly british lady her new surround system, she looked at us and said "that's not surround sound, i know what surround sound is" Dumbfounded i asked her what she meant to which she replied that all of the speakers in the house should be on and playing whatever the theater was playing that way she would get surround sound throughout the house. I'm fairly sure to this day she still doesn't know or care what is surround and what is not.


I also had a builder customer of ours call just raising hell that no one had ever shown him how to use the system, blah blah blah. I mean just tearing me a new one over the phone, to which i replied "Bob, i was there two days ago in the basement with you and your wife, went over everything with her but you kept falling asleep so we just left you there while we went over everything, remember?" BOB: "Yeah but you should have woken me up so i would know how to use it"

Gotta love those customers, who after you go to hook up the basic 8 way selector box to their reciever(which is a basic install), you notice a pile of new equipment stacked neatly in the room where the hookup is going to be.

You ask politely, "I see you bought all the equipment that was on my proposal sheet, I will have to charge you my T+M rate to hook this up, is that ok? Their response is one of disbelief in how you could do this. Which I didn't hook up. So by them having a multi-million dollar home and all the responsibilities to go with it, do you really think they are that stupid? I don't think so.

Finally, the dingy wife continues to call for help over the phone several times over the next couple of years and I know her voice and Caller Id number, however she always plays dumb and starts her help question(as if I'm stupid) "This is so and so from city deleted, you know the one who bought all that equipment from you and had all those sytems installed in our house, bla bla bla, I can't get the satellite picture on the TV, can you help me?

We actually had one take our proposal and order part number for part number, all of the equipment. She then expected us to install it for free....As we all laughed inside, we calmly estimated the install labor at a horrifically high 3k. Of course she balked, and had someone else do the install for much less. Guess who she called when the exercise room "stopped" working? Yes mam' we'll be right over, with a $400 trip charge. The reason I said "stopped working" was because the half a** installer that hacked up the install couldn't put a 45 head on a cat 5 correctly to save his family!