I’m going to Preface this by saying I by no means support or think it’s ok to sexually assault a woman. I also don’t want this to become something it’s not. I want to have a serious discussion about this.

My Wife texted me today and said that due to the recent allegations that her company (smallish 200 employees) are enforcing an open door policy with male employees of power (managers, CEO etc) where any female employee can no longer have a one on one private meeting with a male colleague without another woman present along with the door open. This is to not only protect the employees but also the company. She’s upset about it, she feels it’s not fair and it’s alienating women. She’s afraid it will hurt lateral growth and worries that something that should be kept between boss and employee will no longer be private.

I absolutly understand and can get behind their policy and why they are doing this. I also fully understand the position of women and how it can be a good thing or bad thing for the open door policy. I think this also is bad for women’s equality fight but that’s not for discussion here.

Again I don’t condone anything that has happened in the media. I would like to think the accusers are legit, but it’s tough to know what’s real and what’s not. Anymore it feels like your guilty until proven innocent. This being said, how do we protect ourselves and our companies from Female clients. I don’t know about you guys but 90% of the time i deal with women. All it can take is one handshake and accuasation to ruin your life. I would like to think most of the people we deal with are good honest people but people be cray!

Look at this. It’s already alienating women and making men afraid to interact with them. Funny, as I’m writing this the local news station Just said in the next segment it will have ways to protect your self at holiday parties and when to speak up! I think this discussion is warranted.

Should we all be wearing body cams?

You cannot make your kids hug their uncles and aunts anymore either. WTF? Bear in mind that I pay zero attention to news/current events until it is so big, someone I know says something to me about it. There is little to no value in it for me. Judge me if you want for being ignorant and indifferent to most of what goes on outside of my own "bubble" called my life. But I do not have the time or energy to think about all the crap that is happening around the world. When the nuke is on its way from Korea, I might tune in....just until we blast it out of the sky and send in "the cleaners" to take care of that clown shoe.

As far as your concern, it sounds like all you have to do is hire a feminist vegan to take with you on every job where there will be another female present. Let her do all the talking and touching. You just shut your mouth and do the actual work. Seems like a win-win to me. :P

And yes. That is about as serious a discussion about the topic as I am going to have so bite me.

You just sexually assaulted me! Im telling.

Ya, that's how crazy SOME of this is getting. And it will get worse. THAT is what needs protected. The flood gates will open with more true accusations but don't think for a second an onslaught of false claim won't be in the mix. For sure. Sad.

We were talking with a client last week and he was sort of joking about, dear god please don’t let them talk to any of the women I dated in college. As we all probably felt when dating, he said no never meant no immediately. You always pushed a bit more trying to get lucky.

Also, you have male and females spending more time together at work than they do with their spouses, joking and flirting is natural to happen. It usually starts very light to see what the return is.

Now, in my opinion, those things are far different from telling someone they have to watch you jerk off in the shower to get the part.

They did a segment on the local news tonight about a local feminist group telling parents to not like their daughters sit on Santas Lap as it will cause consent issues when they get older.

THIS IS HOW CRAZY ITS GETTING.

hence the thread, How can we protect our selves in a predominantly male industry from having someone make false accusations?

As fins said, flirting happens, Jokes happen etc. I can count on quite a few fingers how many times a bored housewife has made a comment that if you didnt have a sense of humor would be taken as a "sexual advance" Being professional you laugh it off and go back to your Job.

But in those scenarios a bored house wife provokes man, flirting, touching and then the nasty ensues with full consent from the wife. Husband comes home, she tells him and then the lawyers and the cops come knocking. Just throwing this out there.

thats way less likely though....Im more concerned with the "he shook my hand in a sexual way" when he came to give an estimate.

Our distinguished associate had an interesting angle on this a little while ago. If women would stay home and take care of the house and kids like they are supposed to, there wouldn’t be any harassment in the workplace.

Just act appropriately. If some nut wants to lie and press some allegation there is nothing you can do. Have your phone ready to record audio at a minimum if needed.

Your wife's company policy is abhorrent and will not last long.

Toughen up, do the right thing and let the chips fall where they may.

Cameras with audio in every room of your business. Minus the bathrooms, but definitely cover the bathroom entrance/exit.

This is not the whole story. We have a lot of gay customers and I have no problem with this, but there was one rather aggressive pair where I was reluctant to turn my back on them as I worked. (The one time that I bent over to pick something up elicited a lewd remark.)

Things can get amazingly nasty out there. I have a friend who was an airline stewardess in the era when good looks was the most important character trait. She is also smart and very sweet. She had constant propositions. One fellow demanded that she spend her layover weekend with him, else he would report her. She declined and he reported her. Management backed her up, but shortly thereafter she resigned.

There are some people who are naturally touchy-feely, they mean no harm, they are not seeking sex or favors, it’s just part of their personality. This one strike and you are destroyed, no recourse mentality can be a disservice to these well meaning individuals.

That said, I have no tolerance or sympathy for the power types who serially victimized the less powerful and are finally brought down and I have no respect for those who knew what was happening and just winked.

I know women who have been abused and this has became a central focus of their life, while it was just another “score” or simply the right of the perpetrator to do this. This is what real men are allowed to do, right? A decade or more of therapy can’t fully repair the damage.

Probably due to all of this,for the first time in my life I felt a little uncomfortable.
I had a service call,met the wife,everything seemed normal.

Then she said she had to leave for a bit and asked if I was comfortable with her 18 year old daughter being in the house.

I said that I was raised with three sisters,have a daughter of my own,and doubt that there will be any issues.

Then I got to thinking..........

I fixed the problem and got the heck out of there as fast as I could!

We shouldn't all be judged by the way the "powerful people"interact with the opposite sex.

I have morals!

They don't!!!

In 42 years i have had one person accuse me of being inappropriate. It was an MSN Chat Room member who claimed i sent her a private message propositioning her for sex. New member who argued with me a little bit over something stupid. Every woman in the chatroom chimed in to defend me. Another time i was accused of something i didn't do was when my girlfriend and I were walking into a drug store and a drug addict "give me a dollar" guy out front wouldn't take no for an answer. We walked passed him into the store...5 minutes later store security tells me i have to leave because i called the guy the N word. I flipped out and asked for the store manager. Security guy is taking the crack heads word for it and kicking out an actual customer. Security guy backed down and went back to his hole.

Bottom line is that even if you aren't a creep or racist or white sox fan...Someone somewhere may accuse you of it. The burden of proof is theirs. Defend yourself.

Having said that...

If your accuser list reaches 3 it might be time to rethink your behavior. If you hit double digits you are going to have to face the reality that you are a creep or a racist or a white sox fan.

Also...there is a difference between hitting on a woman at work vs trying to manipulate them into watching you shower. There is also a difference between hitting on a woman at work and sexually harassing a woman at work. Example below...

"Your hair looks pretty, Amy" - OKAY
"Would you like to go to dinner with me, Amy" - OKAY
"Your breasts are huge, are they real, Amy" - NOT OKAY
"Thats what she said, Amy" - Michael Scott
"

Completely absurd. Reminds of elementary school when I went to a private Catholic school. Every Wednesday morning at the end of chapel, the sister would say: Now everyone stand up for the Lord's Prayer, except for Julie, who's Jewish, so she doesn't have to.

Powerful dudes got a ginormous wake-up call this year. If they don't get the message, then closing a door ain't gonna stop them.

Same goes to you, Mrs. Pence: Why would you marry a guy who can't trust himself with other women? Um, yeah, chaperoning him is the answer.

I know I am going out on a limb here, way out. But I would rather suggest it just in case it’s available.

My company offers some unique benefits. One of them is a lawyer “retainer”. I pay $3.36 a week directly out of my paycheck. If I ever need a lawyer, I call this company up, not the one I work for. And they’ll ask what exactly I need a lawyer for so they can give me the names of local lawyers. Then they give me a code of sorts to give to the lawyer so they can charge the company.

With me wanting to buy a house, I could use this system to pay the lawyers. That’s nearly $1,000 for one to buy a house.

Met-Life provides this lawyer benefit. So it wouldn’t hurt for you guys to call to see if you’re able to get it. Granted y’all may have to pay a little more than $3.36 a week. Or maybe not, never hurts to ask.

KOT

I know I've seen in the news this year, a couple articles about females sexually harassing or assaulting other females. Same with male on male.

So how exactly does your company think having an extra person in the room, just when it's opposite sex, is going to insure anything?
If they are that paranoid, then like was said earlier, they need to install cameras & mics in the meeting rooms and offices. Put up the little signs about being recorded. And carry on.

The question you should be asking: How do I turn this into a business opportunity. Because I just got done putting in 16 cameras & 4 microphones for a small business, that has become a little paranoid about this very thing.
You need to get you wife to tell you who to talk to there, and approach them about an "employee monitoring system" :)

I remember a couple girls in my high school class who were egging on the macho male faculty. I think of this pair anytime the TV show “Mean Girls” is brought up even though I’ve only ever seen snips of the show. I see similar types hanging on police cars around town. This experience/observation makes me pause a little when I hear some sort of abuse claim. I don’t automatically assign fault, but if there is a lot of smoke ... .