I'm a hobbiest/developer working with an offshoot of one of the linux settop convergence box projects.

We aren't from a a/v background but from a computer integration/programming background and while we are doing plenty of things that are probably dead brilliant (or at least like to think so) when it came to working out methods for managing external non-tuner control of cable boxes we started out by using the "fairly smart guys doing it the stupid way" approach.
Ergo, we began reading the relevant ir sequences off of the cable box remotes we could lay our hands on directly just encoding rote recordings of the sequences and trying to integrate those into a script we threw together to test an addressable usb ir flasher that we built (the idea being that if you could address the flashers individually you could daisy-chain them and control a number of cable boxes individually).
We were so wrapped up in the usb-ir thing that we wound up taking a really boneheaded initial approach to actually knowing what to say to the boxes.
Eventually it dawned on us that there might actually exist a standardised way to represent the language of remotes and maybe even repository of control dumps for various cable box remotes.
I'm an active member of several forums like this one in areas where I actually have a clue... and random idiots (like me) dropping in and asking to be spoon fed dead basic info that they could look up themselves or asking questions formulated from a position of such cluelessness that they don't actually make enough sense to be answered... are greeted with various degrees of amusement or even hostility... so I'm going to try not to do that here :)
Admitting upfront that I've only taken a cursory look at what information that's available and I probably should have at least tried to do a little more research on my own before posting here... What I'm asking is:

What is the best place to start looking for the info I imagine I need?

Am I in fact looking for something that actually exists?

Am I even asking the right question or am I laughably off the mark?

Did outfits like tivo and the manufacturers of universal remotes who manage to mimic most if not all cable box and sat remotes each scrape the control data from every conceivable remote themselves or is the info shared somewhere or do they just scrape the data from each other's devices?

Are you laughing at me?

(thanks in advance)

(laughing only because you asked)
But seriously boxman, you can't see the forrest through all these dam trees!
This site is the largest repository of IR codes known to mankind. Of course they are all for pronto and various other remotes, but that is about as close as you will get for free.
10 years ago, IR codes were held close to the vest by universal remote manufacturers. Many of them shoot occasional bogus codes as sort of a signature. But the Internet has shown us how information wants to be free, or so they say.
Another resource if you have the access is Crestron or AMX. They have built their own libraries, and distribute the to thier programmers as hex libraries (I'm not a programmer for either,b ut that they way I understand it).
Most of your OEM remotes for cable boxes that have universal code sets just have the whole remote made by one of the big remote outfits like UEI (Universal Electronics)

Thank you very much Late Night Bill!
Yeah I strongly suspected that I was asking a forest/trees type question but I'll make the lame excuse of saying that there's always a moment of swimming awkwardness when you land an a new ocean of technical information.

Thank you again.

The USB-IR thing has me a bit intriqued..... That alone could be a pretty substantial advancement in PC Home control integration.....

You made a lot of mention of Cable boxes and Satellite boxes in your message.... I trust you are also looking at Receivers, DVD players, VCRs, TiVo's, CD Players and other typical home components..... ANd dont forget about RS-232 control as well.

Look into companies like Premis Systems, Cor Access and Xplore solutions... They are aldready doing a lot of what you describe from a Linux platform.

We're mainly working with controlling things that could be viewed as external tuners (mainly cable and sat boxes) because of the nature of the core project.

A convergence box is supposed to be all of the above.
A tivo type device with massive easily expandible disk space and the ability to control and simultaniously record from up to six video sources (hopefully more later) that can store and play back digital rips of an enormous library of CDs and DVDs in a user controlled choice of lossless or lossy compression formats, emulation of pretty much every out of circulation game console and arcade board ever made (pong and space invaders through neo-geo and snes) with a library of virtually every game ever produced for the emulated systems, encorporating a simple web browser, a live sat weather feed, a news headline/blurb sorter browser, tivo style control and smart recording of FM radio also with multiple tuners if desired, an integrated interface for internet radio listening/recording, the ability to display internet video feeds and webcasts... all with one simple (up arrow down arrow enter) remote interface.
using a remote to control the computer is not a problem because its a fairly mature project and it actually has a pretty sizable list of control codes from random every day remotes for everything because they wanted people setting up the software and ir reciever to be able to use any orphan remote that they had laying around.
Its been hard to find info set up as "Cable box X wants the following set of codes" and since most cable companies give out digital cable boxes with self branded cheapo universal remotes it's hard to use a list of remote model numbers to trace back to the correct cable box.
But still... I know about 100 times more now than I did yesterday when I started this thread.
We suspect that we'll be able to use parts of the project for using remotes to control a computer because it includes a module for recording codes off of remotes (file under things I should have known already before I posted here).