Look into Pronto. But I'm not sure if you can get the software.

You could also look into URC. You just need to find a dealer that is willing to give you the software.

Either way, don't expect to get an technical help from the manufactureers. The level of products you will need are designed for custom integrators who take training classes and get certified to program them. There just isn't anything practical for DIY'ers at the level you are wanting.