My worst day was when I had the crabs so bad that the only way to get rid of 'em was to first shave off the pubes on the left side and then light the pubes on the right side on fire. When the crabs ran out from the fire and over to the bare left side I stabbed 'em with an ice pick. I think I got them all, too!
Fins: Still Slamming' His Trunk on pilgrim's Small Weenie - One Trunk at a Time!