Wow,
With the amount of detail provided, I'm sure we can all pitch in and help! ;)

I'll take a wild guess and say you are trying to program a URC remote that uses Active Sync to communicate. Active Sync is not used in Vista so. . .

First you'll need to download and install the new Windows Mobile Device center software. It's really the latest version of Active Sync 5 (with a new name), and that's what you'll need for the active sync programmable remotes. I can't post the superlong url so you'll need to search microsoft.com for this string "Microsoft Windows Mobile Device Center 6 (32-bit)" that's the download you need.

2nd, I think you'll also need to access URC's beta for Vista software. I'm not sure how you'll manage that, but maybe Jeff will take pity on you and get you in the loop.