I've actually found a few other people who have done projects where they have modified the fan remote to integrate into their control system. I'm still shocked that there is no general way to control the fans, but okay.

Good thing I have that engineering degree.

I'm thinking the best approach would be to build a little IR receiver and integrate that into the fan remote.

I wonder how many people would be interested in a ceiling fan remote that still used the normal RF to control the fan, but would respond to IR commands...