Ok, it's bad form to answer your own forum question...but I became impatient...

If you force a firmware update on the extender and remote things worked perfectly for me.

Put the extender in Safe Mode - update firmware - even if it says the firmware is the most current.
Put the handheld in Safe Mode - update firmware - even if it says the firmware is the most current.

You'll end up plugging, unplugging and replugging several times with all the comm checks, updates etc...but ulitmately it worked for me...