Denton earthquake appeal

As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring
5.2 on the

Richter scale struck Manchester in the early hours. The
earthquake decimated the entire area of Denton’s council
estate causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several
priceless collections of ashtrays from Greece and Tenerife
were damaged beyond

repair.

Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven
years old

were disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's
arrived.

The Tameside reporter reported that hundreds of locals
were confused,

bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the
loss of Betfred bookies.

One resident a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother
of

six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes.
She came

into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke
but my

youngest two Tyler MC kenzie and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow
luckily slept

through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching Jeremy
kyle the next

day".

Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on
as normal.

The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of
lager into

the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are
still

searching through the rubble and have recovered large
amounts of

belongings including Benefit Books, jewellery by Elizabeth
Duke at

Argos and finest bone china from B&M.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels
for those

caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed
and amongst

the most sought after items are;

Nike or Burberry Baseball Caps

Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers)

Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length,

Winnie the poo Socks

Rockport Boots

and anything else from JD sports shop

Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes
and should

include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beanz, Super Noodles,

Sausage Rolls and Greggs pasties for the babies. Lambrini
or

White lightning would also be gratefully received.

Every little helps. Remember:

22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form

£2.00 buys chips with curry and blue Panda pop for a
family of nine

£6.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the
nerves of a grieving ten year old

Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh

accommodation is unfair on the residents of Ashton under
lyne.