I do know that some devices do have addition IR codes to explicity turn something on or explicity off versus toggle it. How you get those IR codes I don't know.

Another brute force method would be to add a power control unit like the new panamax and tell the panamax to shut everything off with an IR command (done via AC power) and back on. Then everything is in a known state so you can toggle what you need on. I'm not saying this is the best solution but just a thought.