Early in the morning the President discovered that his Golf simulator - the one that HE paid for - wasn't working.

Turns out he stiffed the custom integrator (Trump's M.O.) so the integrator logged into the simulator remotely and bricked it.

Trump runs to the Rose Garden to announce a NATIONAL EMERGENCY!!! and then hops on a plane to Mar-a-Lago to play golf at his resort. Oh, and to Tweet:

"Real Golf!! With 18 Holes!! Not that FAKE INDOOR GOLF (so hard to cheat. So hard!) Got 18 holes-in-ones I'm THE BEST! More Executive Time, folks, more Executive Time! FORE! (No Collusion!) FORE!"