No control system is probably why you had a disappointing experience.

A control system is nothing more than a reasonable PC (200-300 dollars) as long as you do not want it to be a media player, plus some interface gear to allow the PC to handle IR and RS232.

My Theater is designed that way, almost never fails (maybe once a month, but I am too lazy to track it down right now but do intend to). The PC is controlled by a Pronto TSU 9800 or an iPad although I really prefer the Pronto as I can deal with it without looking at the screen for the most part. The system uses no Philips RFX devices and all communications is remote (iPad/Pronto) to the PC over WiFi/LAN. Everything in the Theater is controlled by the PC including HVAC, Lighting, and window blackout shades (I made my own from scratch), by either dealing with the component directly or with the PC that runs Home Automation for me.

Every room of my home has in wall iPads. They will talk to the PC and a music server to do whole house music (the PC controls a Sirius radio tuner) and the music system is Logitechs "SqueezeServer" but I am not sure of the name. If I am using the Squeeze system control is using an iPad app called Squeezepad. The iPads also talk to the Home Automation system for the obvious.