The URC MX5000 or MX6000 would be a good solution.  You would want to pair it with an RF basestation for more reliable control.  I would suggest the MRX1 network basestation.  This combo will give you one way IR control and two way RS232/IP control capability; as well as two video/voltage sensor ports and one relay port.  You can also control URC lighting if that is something that interests you.

These remotes have the capability of communicating with iTunes via WiFi and will give you feedback right on the remote.  (album art, artist/song info, etc)  This is fairly easy to configure, as URC provides the 2way iTunes app for you.  You just have to configure a few settings in the software and pair the remote to iTunes on your computer.

If you find a dealer that is willing to provide the software, you can even program the system yourself if you are willing to put in the time to learn the ins and outs of the CCP software.